Long Relationships

The beginning of my relationship with my husband was a bit weird all around.

I was in an online relationship with a guy named Steve at the time. We’d done the picture exchange, the nightly phone calls, we were planning on flying to see each other…

I was having a bad night when one of my online friends introduced me to his online friend, B. B and I talked, got me through my bad mood, and we ended up having a lovely conversation. And a spark.

It wasn’t long at all before we were admitting what was there – a very great and nearly instant attraction even though we were half a world apart and with an age gap to boot. Those things didn’t matter though. We were in love.

A question a lot of people ask is, “How did you know it was love?�

The last think I want to do is say some vague phrase like, “I just knew.�

The thing was, I did know. Why? Because from the beginning I knew I wanted to face the challenges of life with B. I think being with Steve at the time only made it more definite in my mind that I had fallen in love with B; I didn’t agonize over which man I would end up hurting – I always agonized about how hurt Steve would be. (Which he was, but he was also extremely angry, which I didn’t like.)

Beyond that, we talked about and knew we’d have to face a lot of challenges to make things work. B was unemployed at the time, we were (and are) at an age difference to raise eyebrows, I was in university, and a lot of other things.

However, we talked, and we talked a lot. About all the possible problems. Even so, we decided that it would be much better to be together and face problems than be apart and face nothing. He and I both knew it was love.

I think that’s when B and I truly went from falling in love to loving. As former author RA said, “…falling in love simply happens to someone. It’s a passive activity, like falling into a pool. It’s a mistake, not intentional. Loving someone, however, is a conscious decision. It’s an active state of caring for another person to the extent that one’s actions change to that end. It’s diving into the pool.�

That’s what having a long relationship is about. Making the decision to love and to be with someone.

So when did you know it was love?