When I Love You
I always love my husband (I don’t always ‘like’ him, hehe) but there are times when I make his life not so easy. It is in those times that my husband tends to shine through (with a few good natured jabs at my expense to make sure I don’t feel too sorry for myself for long).
Due to my past, I am not bashful about saying I have a lot of issues to deal with. This doesn’t always make for smooth relationship sailing. Yet, even with all these ‘rocks’ along our relationship path, my husband takes it all in stride.
As much as this is sounding like a newlywed still in the ‘rosy glow’ love stage, I promise that’s not what I’m getting at.
As relationships progress, the intricate dance of reach and withdraw becomes more important. In the first months of our relationship, I put my husband in the place of reach a lot. While he understands why I was like that, he taught me that I need to take up the position of reach more often so we have balance in our relationship.
As with many things, there is a scale effect; if you are always reaching, then you will become worn out and feel like you’re giving 100% in the relationship while your partner is not. If you are constantly withdrawing, you’re making your partner feel that way.
Either way, you need to examine what’s going on inside you and what you and your partner can do to get things back into balance.
Do you feel your relationship as balanced? Do you identify yourself more as a reach or withdraw? What do you do to try to maintain the balance?
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