What is Marriage?
Times are certainly changing, aren’t they? Or rather, they have already changed a lot in the past decades and are continuing to change. We’re thinking differently, acting differently, and doing things differently in regards to relationships.
No longer is there a gasp of horror about couples ‘living in sin’ before marriage. Couples are even taking holidates to give things a go before taking the marriage plunge. You would think most people would regard these as good things along the lines of freedom and ‘trying before buying’ lifestyles.
But are they a good thing?
I think to my own marriage and I know that for my husband and me, the event was not religious. We didn’t get married because we had the ‘living in sin’ thing hanging over us or because it was expected of us for any religious type reasons. We got married because one, the time was right (I made sure of that) and two, because it’s something we’d wanted to do for a long time.
Either way, I would have lived with him beforehand and gone travelling with him beforehand. And I don’t think those things negatively impacted our relationship whatsoever. Nor did it lessen how meaningful our marriage was when it took place. The meaning it had for us was determined by us.
But does it work that way for everyone?
What do you think? What is marriage for you? Does it hold all the religious and spiritual meanings for you or did you get married because ‘that’s just what people do’? Somewhere in between? If you’re married, did you live with your spouse beforehand?
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I definitely feel the meaning and sanctity of marriage is no longer what it was. Which is very sad to think that.
So many people today are living together, having children, essentially being married but ‘don’t need the paper’ and so never get married.
I don’t particularly care if a couple gets married or not, honestly. I just wonder why not do it if you are going to live as if you are anyway?
Anyone that knows our story knows that Daniel and I got married very quickly after meeting in person for the first time. There was no question, no doubt, nothing. I knew this was the man for me. We were going to live together for a bit while I planned a wedding but my mom hoped we’d be married first. Though we didn’t do it for her sake, we did go down and have our little quickie wedding before moving in together. It was going to happen anyway.
I almost feel that people that DON’T get married feel they still have that ‘out’, their escape plan regardless of what they say to the contrary. If you are raising kids, buying homes and cars, I’m sure you’re committed so why not take that step?
marriage has been made into something ‘uncool’ and ‘old fashioned’ simply because it’s easier to do whatever we want with who ever we want.
Personally, I want that ring, I want that piece of paper. It’s not just a legal binding of two people according to state law, it adds a bonding on an emotional level, a binding of the soul.
Call me old fashioned I guess.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I think the concept of marriage has been cheapened because it’s so easy to get out of now. People are having 2,3,4, 5 divorces. What matters and makes the difference is your belief in what marriage and commitment is.
My parents met and were engaged in 1 week…and they have been married 40 years. My sister has been living together with her boyfriend for 17 years, very committed. One has a legal piece of paper, one doesn’t…both have a very strong love and a deep commitment to each other.
My husband and I lived together 12 years before getting married and making it legal. And when we did decide to do it, we told no one and we decided to on a Tuesday night and were married that Saturday. There wasn’t a religious aspect to it for us. We were already married in our mindset and in our love for each other.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
It’s a bit sad, in my opinion, what has become of marriage. But then again, with the economy like it is, marriage can get terribly expensive.
I think marriage lost something when we started putting such high price tags on everything. It became about the ‘things’ and not the meaning.
I believe it’s personal to the couple whether or not they want to get married and don’t hold it against those who don’t, but I do wish marriage meant more.