Long Relationships

Have you ever been in the middle of a conflict with the one you love and thought—Wait, what started this? What the hell is he talking about? What was my point in arguing this?

I recently had a disagreement with my hubby and couldn’t avoid the notion that perhaps we were just both at a simultaneous breaking point. With hectic work schedules, four children, disagreeable ex-spouse (his side), it’s no wonder that eventually the pot [instead of the cup] runneth over.

Did we both dwell on the chaos secretly seeking a little separation or alone time to decompress? It would certainly seem that way. Is some conflict in a relationship self-manufactured because you failed to take a little time for yourself once in a while? Finally, you’re at a breaking point and need a little space?

If we had gone back, weeks or even days to take those brief moments, would we not have been at that place? Sure, the stresses would have still been there, but if we had done little things to nourish our spirits, would we have dealt with the inevitable stress differently?

If I had spent less time checking my email—I would have enjoyed time to meditate, finding time for my thoughts and my dreams in the day. And, with those inner reflections comes a beautiful peace and sanctity that can endure anything. I would have had the time to indulge in a cup of coffee, write a few pages in the book that will never finish itself, or talk to a friend who needs my ear and my heart. (I know your needs, dear friend, and will find you soon.)

If I had eliminated TV in my home as I wished to do—to follow the philosophy “Less is more,” eliminating technological distractions for our family (Leapsters, mind-numbing cartoons)—I would have had more time to sit on the patio playing a boardgame or coloring or wind my way to the beach with the kids, letting their minds and hearts be free after a long day at school.

If I hadn’t cared that the house was clean, the laundry was done—I would have understood the true beauty in a child’s laughter instead of hearing their cry of boredom.

Technology and responsibility got in the way of what is “real life� this weekend. It will be the last time…

conflict, disagreement, relationship