The Man Behind the Curtain – A Matter of Privacy
The Wizard of Oz is initially depressed about people seeing who he truly is. He agrees with Dorothy about being a bad man for tricking people with the illusion. But when he realizes they like him as he is and have forgiven him for what he did, he becomes more secure in his person.
When it comes to sharing details about your relationship behind the curtain, it can be a relief to ‘let your guard down’ and let other people see that you get frustrated as well. Sometimes it’s just plain nice to let loose and complain when you’re feeling frustrated. However, when it comes to revealing details about what happens in your relationship when no one is watching to either online or to friends, the first matter you should always consider is privacy.
My husband has a friend – “Ben” – who likes to be the ‘typical bloke’ and complain about his partner to the other guys. ‘The old ball and chain’ is a common point of complaint – even though you know he wouldn’t speak like that if his partner was present.
The funny thing about Ben is that he doesn’t understand my husband. It boggles his mind that Mr. JM doesn’t feel the need to complain about me or what I do. He gets annoyed that Mr. JM doesn’t participate in the ‘spouse complaint sessions’.
How do I know this? Ben told me so.
Mr. JM was there when Ben talked to me about it and we later talked about it. Mr. JM said, “I don’t think it’s any of his business what’s happening in our relationship and I don’t feel the need to complain about you behind your back like that.”
(Talk about being a proud wife…) Whenever I feel inclined to talk about private matters to people, I remember him saying that. It never fails to slap me out of the momentary feeling.
Just because ‘everyone’ is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. You shouldn’t feel like you have to join in on the partner-bashing sessions just because everyone else is doing it. What is your business is your business, and people who pressure you to talk about those things are just looking for good gossip.
But if it’s a matter of wanting to complain about that thing s/he likes to do in bed or how s/he has a secret fascination with ‘x’, try reversing the roles and thinking about how you would feel.
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