Long Relationships

Today we have a special guest post from my friend Jenera. She’ll be writing for Long Relationships this week.

Every so often you’ll see a blog post, an article, or something on TV about how no one writes letters anymore. It is all email, text messaging, chatting, and other forms of technological communication. It’s true, I’d much rather email a person than talk to them.

I remember having pen pals while in high school that I exchanged hundreds of letters with. We had to moved to Oregon when I was in 9th grade and I kept in touch with several friends from back in San Diego via written letter for quite awhile.

The most memorable letter exchange for me was with my husband though. In the beginning we met online, exchanged emails, then moved to phone calls. The night I was supposed to meet up with him he was arrested and that ended our budding relationship. Or so I thought.

It’s quite a long story about him being arrested, going (back) to prison, and how I ended up writing letters to him. But for a few months, the almost daily letters back and forth were our only communication.

After the first “What the hell?!” type letters of trying to figure out the whole situation, there were nice, sweet, romantic letters that was the basis of our courtship. Thrown in were a few indignant (on my part), rude (again, my part) letters due to some things still going on in his life. But also some heart sharing, eye opening, soul baring letters that laid everything out on the table. Trust me, when a guy in sitting in prison, he has a lot of time.

My intention was to almost scare him off, to let him see how crazy I was, how hurt I had been, and how much I demanded of a person who wanted to be in my life. His intention was to get to know me, show me he cared in spite of never meeting me.

Every day I rushed home at lunch to check the mail for a letter from him. I think I would get about 3-5 letters a week. I still have them all tucked into the journal I was using at that time. It felt so old fashioned to start out a relationship this way, even if I had no idea it would end the way it did.

The letters ended shortly after he was released from prison a few short months later only to be replaced by daily phone calls. We continued our courtship this way until a few more months later he came to see me.

The rest they say is history.

My point is that I think the letters that flew back and forth are a reason that we grew together the way we did. There is something about a letter that is mailed hundreds of miles away that allows you to open your soul. Maybe because you don’t have to be in front of that person while pouring your heart out. Maybe because you have time to react and respond rationally. Maybe it takes us back to a time when relationships were founded on the old ways of courtship.

I learned a lot about myself and about my husband during those months that we shared letters together. I will always treasure those letters where my love first grew for him. I know he still has all my letters, even the mean ones, and I know he’ll save them for a long time. Those letters are a huge part of our history together and what makes us the couple that we are today.

Share a letter with your special someone, even a small note, and you’ll see what it does to your heart.