Taking Your Other for Granted
As I’ve mentioned before, last week I was working on a huge project that pretty much had me exhausted by the time I finally went to bed at night. As you can imagine, all that time with me working away left my husband to pick up the slack of responsibility that I usually take care of.
I knew that things were wearing on him like they were on me, and as he climbed into bed the other night, I could tell something was wrong. I decided it was way past time for a ‘check in’ so, even though we were both tired, I prodded him a bit about how he was feeling.
After a while of sliding around the issue, he said, “Well, when you went to bed, you didn’t turn everything off. The heater, the lights, the television. You left it all for me to take care of.”
I felt bad for doing that and apologized, explaining that my head was so stuffy and fuzzy from being tired that I just didn’t think. Usually my apology makes him feel better because he’ll know I’ll work on my behavior. But instead of saying that he understood, he said:
“Yes, but if you were living alone, would you have left all those things on?”
I paused for a moment and all I could think of to say was, “Touche.”
Now, I have always been a person who tries to make sure not to take things for granted, so hearing that from him came as a bit of a blow, to say the least. I know he didn’t mean it to hurt me whatsoever, but it was his way of letting me know that I was taking him for granted.
I’ve since been doing things to let him know how much I appreciate him as well as being conscious of taking care of things that I can do myself instead of just expecting him to do them.
Do you take your partner for granted? Even if it’s just with things like turning off the lights or doing the laundry?
July 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’d like to say that no I don’t take the hubby for granted but I think I do just in a different sense than most. BEcause he isn’t home every single day I think I take for granted the time that he is home and it’s difficult for me to transition back into the ‘couple’ frame of mind. I get used to doing things with just me and the kid that it’s tough to switch back to a traditional family setting.
I sometimes feel that he takes me for granted. But I think its the same thing on his end. He’s used to being alone, cooped up in the truck that it’s hard to switch back to the regular role. I’m lucky though that he will choose off the wall times to tell me how much he appreciates me. I always know he does, but it’s good to hear i.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I know somewhat how you feel, but for different reasons. (My husband isn’t a truckie.) My husband and I were alone for so long that it isn’t always easy to have the insta-couple mind when he comes home at night.
I think we all take each other for granted to some extent.