Long Relationships

A new has found that the way men and women view a kiss can be quite different. The results of the study undertaken by the New York State University uncovered some fascinating differences in attitudes between the two sexes.

The team quizzed over 1,000 students; they found that while men used it to increase the likelihood of sex, women used it to asses the kissed as a potential partner and, in long-term relationships, to check the status of the relationship. However, a first kiss was viewed as important by both men and women. A separate survey within the study found that 59% of men and 66% of women reported losing interest in some
body they had been attracted too after the first kiss.

Surveyed men were more willing to have sex with somebody they considered a bad kisser or else somebody they had not kissed at all. Perhaps unsurprisingly they were also more willing to agree to sex with someone they felt no attraction for at all. After initial contact is made it doesn’t end there; women, unlike men, placed a stress on kissing as a means of maintaining intimacy through out a relationship. Men, however, see kissing as important in reconciling an argument, 70% thought kissing could end a fight as opposed to 58% of females.

Differences also emerged in the types of kisses that the sexes preferred. Men preferred wetter kisses and made little discrimination between short and long-term partners where as women preferred wetter kisses with only long-term partners. Males were also more likely to prefer more tongue contact with short-term partners which is probably a product of men seeing kissing much more as a means to lead-in to sex. As sexual relations progressed women maintained a pretty consistent view of the importance of kissing while for men it was significantly less important during and after sex.

Commenting on the results, Dr Glenn Wilson, an expert in relationships at London’s Institute of Psychiatry attributed these differences to women needing to test more:
“Kissing is used by everyone as a bonding and testing mechanism.

But the fact is women are more discriminatory than men. Men can just go out and spread their seed, but women have to take more responsibility because of the consequences and so they are likely to want to test more.”

(Source: BBC News)

However, the results tend to reinforce the view that for women the physical is much more closely tied to the emotional side of a relationship and some may say sadly tends to also reinforce the stereotype that men are much less interested in the emotional side of a relationship with their primary goal being physical gratification. Men also come out of the survey looking a little usurious; seeing kissing as a means to achieve that satisfaction rather than expression of or testing of a deeper emotional bond. Whichever view you take of it, it is perhaps worth remembering that when you or your partner are next in a passionate embrace that your partner it may mean more to them than you think.