Privacy, Please
I have never been a fan of the public proposal. I shake my head at guys bearing roses and a ring to talk show studios. I am puzzled when blimps pass by to profess an on-looker’s affections. Asking such a poignant question begs privacy, in my opinion, and using a public arena to pose it feels like a manifestation of insecurity. Are these guys afraid of a negative response?
I allow that some couples probably like the excitement and spectacle. It’s best to know your audience, right? Maybe a couple had their first date at a historic movie theater and it would seem romantic that the guy bought an ad before the movie started. I suppose a public proposal requires a great deal of foresight that can be impressive to the answerer. It’s admirable for someone to go to a lot of trouble to create a memorable occasion and I can appreciate the time spent in planning, not to mention the energy in execution.
What I don’t appreciate is mortifying embarrassment, as witnessed in this video featured on Dating with Children. Can you imagine? Just thinking about it makes me shudder.
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April 11th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Ouch. That was a little painful to watch that video. I’m like you, more of a private person and I’m glad that my husband didn’t do anything like that. But watching the video also makes me think, it’s obvious that the couple didn’t really ever talk about marriage before, or if they did, I’m thinking the woman wasn’t for it. The proposal appeared to be a total shock to her. My husband and I talked about it a lot and I even picked out my ring beforehand, so before the official proposal, he knew what answer he was gonna get. I guess I don’t mind the public proposals…I just hope that they have actually talked about it before and that it’s not just an awkward situation like the one on the video. Or where the woman is forced to say yes since it’s in front of a huge crowd, only to give the ring back in private (and tell the guy what she REALLY thinks).
I also thought the couple in the video may not have discussed getting married. There’s embarrassment, but then there’s embarrassment plus shock and disbelief, which is what I saw there. And she ran like she just wanted to get out, which was the most disturbing to me. I think you’re right that having to say yes in front of the group and then take it back later might be an option, but that would be horrible, too.
You know, JG’s dad says that you shouldn’t buy a ring unless you know what that answer will be, and it looks like your husband would agree! - RA