No Sex Spouse
One of the biggest problems I hear about it the simple refusal of sex. He or she doesn’t want to participate as much as the other partner would like.
However, when it comes to sex, saying more is a lot more than simply saying no.
When your partner refuses sex every once in a while that is okay and, in some cases, to be expected. Men and women both (despite what you’ve heard of men and insta-hard dicks) need a little mental preparation for sex. Some more than others for both sexes.
Whether or not you need little mental preparation, it’s your responsibility as a good partner to understand your partner’s wants and needs. Maybe your partner likes a clothes-ripping-off good time or perhaps a bit of tickling and nibbling is more appropriate. Don’t be afraid to ask and experiment.
But what if you get stopped before you’ve barely started?
That’s where the big problems start coming in.
The thing to remember about refusing your partner is it can be detrimental to your partner’s ego, self-confidence, sense of relationship stability, and other things as well. This isn’t to mean you should be having sex because you feel guilty that your partner isn’t getting as much sex as s/he needs, but you should examine the causes of your refusing. (Or encourage your partner to examine the real reasons behind his/her refusals.
Being refused can very easily start you on a path to self doubt and relationship doubt. That’s why it’s so important to communicate clearly about your wants and needs in regards to sexual behavior. Don’t feel guilty bringing up something. If you have a problem, it will come out in one way or another, so it’s good to get it out sooner before it starts affecting other areas of your lives.
Come back for more posts on what to do if s/he refuses you.
December 5th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Withholding sex can fall under the catergory of emotional abuse.
December 5th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Yes, sometimes it can.