Love Questions
I was recently invited to participate in a relationship meme and, well, I have a hard time resisting memes, tags, etc. So here is a love question from Being Pursued and my answer to it.
Welcome to Love Q #1. For this week, just imagine you are being pursued by someone but you are absolutely not interested in his or her advances. I have come across the different manners that people do to send out the message that they are not interested but lets hear it from you.
So, the question:
If you are being romantically pursued but you are not interested, what would you do to let the person know? For instance, would you be direct and blunt or would you drop hints?
This has actually happened to me more than once, believe it or not.
The first time, I did exactly the wrong thing: I went out with the guy even though I wasn’t really interested. I just couldn’t bear to make him feel bad by saying no and he was a good friend. I thought maybe something might happen. (What can you say? I was a lot younger.)
These days I’m definitely a bit more direct. I’m not as outrageous when I flirt so as to avoid these kind of awkward situations. The easiest way to get out of anything like that is to mention my husband or something related to him so I can eventually bring him up.
If I was single… Eh, I’d go the hints way first, but not for long. I’m too impatient to dance around the issue like that.
What about you? Are you a direct Doris or a bit of a shy hint-dropper?
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May 8th, 2008 at 3:00 am
Thanks for joining in. Yes, when we were younger, we certainly did things differently, isn’t it? Anyway, I have always been a hint dropper. I think most guys would get the message if you drop the right hints.
May 8th, 2008 at 4:43 am
My pleasure!
Hints are nice and easy, but I tend to know guys who respond best to being direct.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I like the direct approach and matching the tone of response to the tone of their pursuit. Like if they are nice, just be direct but gently so. If they are jerks, I don’t care about their feelings and I’d be abrasive about it.
I’m not really a believer in hint dropping, because if a guy sees an ounce of hope, he’ll cling to that. If there is no hope, he shouldn’t have to waste time thinking there is, it’s not fair to him.
People think a wedding ring is the biggest hint and sign to leave a woman or man alone, but I think sometimes with certain people it acts opposite. It’s like a challenge or turn on to go after someone married for certain people.
May 9th, 2008 at 10:37 am
I will drop hints but if that doesn’t work right away, I’m terribly blunt. It’s the way that you just have to be. Though there are those folks that don’t even respond to blunt, lol.
May 10th, 2008 at 12:53 am
Shannon - You make a lot of good points. It’s not fair to lead anyone on and, I think, it’s appropriate to treat others the way they treat you.
I do find all those ‘catch a married wo/man sites and such very annoying.
Jenera - Haha. Very true. I know a few who don’t get it even when you’re direct.