Love Question Ten
Happy Sunday! Or something like that, right? It’s the end of a long weekend. I hope you all had fun. Here is the other Love Question from Short Sweet Love Poems that I missed while my site was down.
This one should get interesting…
Interestingly, I read an article recently that mentions that a third of Australian males polled by a men’s magazine hoped to marry a virgin. And slightly over 40% prefer their women to have had 5 partners or fewer.
If men still prefer their prospective wife to be chaste or not so sexually promiscuous, then should a woman be more cautious of when to allow sex to creep into a relationship?
Anyway, let’s have a look at Love Q #10:
What stage in a relationship do you think two people should be at before they start sleeping together?
OK, maybe this question will bring up moral and religious issues on one hand and freedom and liberty on the other. Whatever it is, it would be good to read different opinions. I’m looking forward to it if people are ready to take up the challenge of stating their views!
Funnily enough, my Aussie husband used to like to joke about his virgin bride…
This is probably going to get me in a bit of hot water, but I’m going to say it. I think the view of sex in the United States is entirely too stuck up. The sexual education sucks and sex is often made into some ‘dirty’ thing. Sex happens and people need to get over that and start dealing with it.
*steps off soap box*
This is another hard one to answer because people are so different. If it’s a matter of one partner putting on the pressure, then they shouldn’t. Pressure shouldn’t have a part in losing your virginity. But if you’re both consenting, both are mature enough to realize all the implications (they differ based on beliefs, etc), have both thought about it in a non-heat of the moment time, have protection, and want to do it, then go ahead.
Only you can truly know how you’ll feel about it after. How it will affect your beliefs. You have to step up and start taking responsibility for your thoughts, beliefs, and your body at some point.
July 7th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
“If men still prefer their prospective wife to be chaste or not so sexually promiscuous, then should a woman be more cautious of when to allow sex to creep into a relationship?”
I think the minute you start living your life based on what men prefer, you should just kiss your spirit goodbye.
A woman should have sex when she feels it’s natural for her to do so.
As for the comments on America’s views on sex being uptight, I disagree. Sex is absolutely everywhere in America. 1 in 5 people have a sexual disease supposedly and they aren’t getting that from being rigid or masturbating.
July 8th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Ha! Very well said. You shouldn’t live according to other people’s preferences.
About America being uptight - it’s a comparison of the views of sex in Australia and the views of sex in America. It’s more of a general relaxed view of sex. Yes, it’s everywhere in America, but it’s still a ‘bad’ thing more or less (more so than it is in Australia, at least). It’s the view, not the action, that I’m talking about.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I was taught growing up that it was right to wait until marriage. And in a way I still believe that.
I did have sex before marriage with two men prior to meeting my hubby and I can say that I do regret it. I also had sex with the hubby before marrying him.
I think sex is important and not just a physical act that feels good. I’m a bit old fashioned maybe and see it for the emotional act that it is.
I was also a virgin until I was 21 and I know that I was in no way ready until that point and I even question if I was ready then.
It all boils down to being ready and I think that is so different for every person that a specific age, or point in a relationship, or whatever is very hard to pin down. I wasn’t ready until I was 21 but others are ready sooner.
I don’t think sex is bad at all-I think it’s great. What I think is terrible is that society tends to have this ‘do what you want ‘cuz it feels good’ attitude and the young teens/older teens are hearing this and thinking it’s all gravy to have sex whenever they want. Okay, maybe it is. But we have so many people-not just young people-having sex for the wrong reasons.
July 8th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
I guess I’m a bit spoiled in the sex area. I’ve only been with my husband and I can’t imagine a better introduction to sex.
I do think it should come down to when you’re ready, but there is also the thing about having the maturity to know what you really want and need. That part can get tricky.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:50 am
I think we will be hard pressed to find a virgin bride these days. Anyway, it all depends on the stage of life we are in as well. Most people have no hesitation jumping into bed when they are young. But as we age, I think we become more cautious. Maybe it has to do with the emotional maturity and our needs change.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:53 am
Hehe. I feel like I’m not one to talk on this subject because I was so different from pretty much all of my friends when it came to sex. But yes, virginity for marriage for either men or women would definitely be going down statistically.