Love Question Eleven
We have another interesting question this week from Short Sweet Love Poems…
Some people go by the saying that honesty is the best policy. So, they would rather reveal everything to their partner upfront, including details of their past relationships.
On the other hand, others prefer to keep mum believing that there is little point in delving about the past as what is more important is the present and the future.
Would you want your partner to know how many people you have slept with in the past? Or how you have cheated on someone you once dated, for example? So, talking about your past relationships to your current partner can indeed be a difficult issue.
On to Love Q #11:
How frank should you be with your partner when it comes to your past relationships? How much of the details should you reveal?
This can be a bit tricky depending on the relationship and the questions asked. Obviously, it’s not exactly comfortable to have your partner asking, “What did you like best about sex with so and so?�? Then again, I see no reason to lie about how many people you’ve slept with. (As long as someone isn’t asking you about it on the first date.)
Overall, I’m more on the side of honesty is best, but that’s in part because my partner is honest with me when I have questions. We also both know that we can trust each other not to hold our past against each other.
Then again, if you’re with someone who is going to hold your past against you, then maybe you shouldn’t be with that person in the first place.
But yes, if the questions don’t get too ridiculous and don’t make you uncomfortable, there’s no reason to lie.
What do you think?
July 13th, 2008 at 12:39 am
Yes, I’m for honesty as well. I think it is more healthy for the relationship that way. Otherwise, it gets kind of uncomfortable having to hide your past, isn’t it?
July 13th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Very true, but there is still a line in there that is specific to everyone.
July 13th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I revealed some things about my past, I kept some just to me. I’ll be open about how many partners I had, but I don’t get into their size or specifics. That stuff might play out in high school, but by the time you are in a mature relationship, hopefully that kind of stuff is all behind you and there isn’t the need for details. You can’t bring your best to a relationship if either of you are still hung up on the details of the past ones.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:50 am
I think specifics, if you can even still remember them, would most likely just lead to trouble in both the asking and the telling, so why bring it up in the first place?
July 14th, 2008 at 6:07 am
[...] Tell, I Tell Not… by JM Last week for Love Question Eleven, we talked about how open and honest you should be when it comes to your past relationships. While [...]