Love Question #18
It’s that time again and we have another interesting question from Short Sweet Love Poems. Given the answers to the previous questions, I’m curious to see what people have to say about this one.
If you answered on your blog, leave a link in the comments here. If you don’t have a blog, then join in the discussion here and check out the main page (linked above) for comments from other participants.
In many relationships, it comes a point when the thought of marriage will creep into the picture for the woman. She longs for the commitment and security of a married life with the one she loves but unfortunately, the man may not have the same thought yet.
However, in these modern times, a woman certainly does not have to wait for the man to bring up the topic of marriage. And yet, I also know of many women who would hesitate to ask a man to marry her. Somehow, proposing to a man does not sound like a thing that many women would do.
So for Love Q #18: How do you feel about a woman proposing to a man? For those women out there, would you be comfortable doing so if you truly feel you are ready for marriage?
I don’t feel much of anything, to be honest. If she wants to do it, then why not?
I suppose I’m old fashioned in many ways, but in this, I don’t think it’s a big deal or particularly scandalous if the woman wants to ask the man to marry her.
The only thing about this would be, for me, that you know your man well before deciding to pop the question. (Yes, you should know him well for marriage sake, but bear with me…) If you’re with the kind of guy who likes to be ‘the man’ then he might not take you proposing very well.
But had my husband not asked first, I would have asked. No drama.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I personally would never ask a man to marry me. It’s too desperate and I think it sets things off on the wrong foot. Men like to chase. I like to be chased. I like a man to feel like he has to work for it. If a man isn’t knocking down your door begging you to marry him, I think that is a big sign. I hear women say “I’m giving him an ultimatum” because some guy they are into isn’t asking them to marry her. To me, that makes them look pathetic. What kind of woman hangs around waiting for a man to pop the question? Might as well just look in the mirror every morning and call yourself a weak, unworthy piece of crap because that’s what you’ll end up feeling like waiting around for some man that isn’t crazy enough about you that he’s unsure whether he wants to marry or not.
But that’s just me and I know there are different scenarios and not everything is black and white, so I think this is one of those whatever works for you types of questions.
August 30th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
It’s not scandalous certainly if a woman wants to propose given that the times have changed. But I’m still unsure how men will take it if his partner suddenly pops the question. As far as I know, not many men feel comfortable being proposed to and not many women like to take that kind of initiative.
August 30th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Overall, I think more men than not would like to do the proposing. But I think if a woman knows her partner, truly knows him, well enough to know that he’ll be okay with her proposing, then it doesn’t mean she is or considers herself to be less than worthwhile. I suppose there are all kinds of psychological implications, but if you *know* your partner and *know* he wouldn’t have a problem with it, then it’s fine. As rare as that man may be.
September 1st, 2008 at 12:26 am
I don’t think it’s a bad thing for a woman to propose IF both her and the man are in the same place. But that goes for men too. If a couple is at the point where marriage has been discussed-in any manner-and they have committed to each other, then by all means, a woman can propose. Why should men have to risk the rejection every time?
I think women though like to have that story book romantic proposal and this is why more men than women propose.
In my case, I didn’t get a romantic proposal-hell, I didn’t even get a ring! But it was something that was understood, yep we’re going to get married so it was like a mutual acceptance of a proposal. I didn’t get the whole “Will you marry me” until two days before we went to the courthouse because I joked with the hubby that I didn’t get that. I do think I would have ‘proposed’ to him if he hadn’t though. But I think ours is a unique situation.
September 1st, 2008 at 12:29 am
Hehe. I think I’m more like you than I am like the traditional marriage proposal story. I didn’t get an ‘on the knee’ proposal until late one night when I were working on visa (not the credit card kind) paperwork. It was very funny.