Love Question 16
As you know, I’m running a little behind on things, so this question is actually from last week. It’s an interesting question, though, and I would like to take the time to answer it.
These days, for every marriage almost half ends in divorce. People no longer treat marriage as a ’till-death-do-us-part’ arrangement unlike the past. Instead when things get rough, divorce is a very viable option because a divorcee no longer faces any social stigmas associated with a failed marriage.
But if divorce is becoming rampant and marriage doesn’t mean you have to stick with a person through thick and thin, is there any more meaning to marriage? In fact, nowadays many couples just choose to live together without even bothering to get married.
So, for Love Q #16: Is the idea of marriage outdated?
How to begin this one…
It’s my opinion that the news, newspapers, etc play up the sad and dramatic stories because they know that’s what will draw people in. In many places, crime has gone down and yet people are more afraid to go out of their homes than ever. That’s because crime gets reported; people (like cops) doing their jobs well doesn’t get reported.
So while the world is certainly changing and marriage isn’t quite the concrete building it used to be, I don’t think it has yet passed into the realm of ‘outdated’. Marriage is more than just ‘sticking with someone’ no matter what. It’s commitment, bonding, a declaration of love, and so much more (if you want it to be).
The idea that marriage is meant to keep you together forever? Yeah, perhaps that is becoming ignored, if not outdated. Marriage, the whole thing and all its meanings, outdated? Not quite yet.
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I think “marriage is outdated” is just something people that focus too much on Hollywood and what the media pushes believe.
It’s become so cliche’ to hear a woman say “I don’t need a man, I don’t need marriage” blah blah blah like it makes her some kind of feministic hero. I think they look like idiots.
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Sometimes, it really depends on your own situation. If you have met someone special and your marriage is going great, of course we can say that marriage is not outdated. But for someone who had a bitter experience, marriage may not be something that special. So, perhaps it is all a result of our life experiences that determine how we see the idea of marriage.
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 am
Shannon - I don’t think they look like idiots (all the time, anyway, haha) but I do believe that some woman take the philosophy of feminism too far and think that no man, no marriage, etc, makes them stronger when the fact is that’s not what feminism is about.
Aud - Oh, how you have been raised, your culture, your family ideas, etc, will greatly influence how you view marriage. But it can also be what you make of it. At no point in my life (before my husband, before relationships) have I thought marriage is outdated despite there not being a heavy importance placed on it in my family.