Love Question 15
It’s that time again this week and Short Sweet Love Poems has another thought-provoking question for us to answer. If you answer these questions on your own blog, be sure to leave me a link in the comments.
In many relationships, people grow out of love. They change along the way with one partner drifting further and further away from the other on an emotional level.
But many also choose to stick together and go through the motions because of the kids. They may not adore each other anymore but because they share the same priority, happiness is sacrificed to function as a family unit.
It is a sad situation but I think it is also a reality among many married couples today.
My question to you this week for Love Q #15: Should couples stay together for the sake of the kids when love is no longer present? Can it work?
While I have no doubt it can work at a functional level, I don’t believe couples should stay together just for the kids.
It’s no secret that the things we observe in childhood influence us as adults. It’s been proven in studies (you’re going to have to take my word for it because I can’t find the study I have in mind) that we are attracted to people with similar backgrounds. With those things working for most of us in our relationships, we’re likely to repeat what our parents have done in both good and bad things.
While you could argue that divorce might lead to a higher chance of divorce for the children, isn’t demonstrating doing what is good for people involved is better than staying in situations simply for the sake of others? The children may not understand at the time, but if you are open and honest about what is going on, they eventually will.
What do you think?
August 6th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I don’t think you should ever stay together for the kids. Kids are smart and they will pick up on the smallest thing that just isn’t right.
Plus it is terribly unfair to both partners. You are sacrificing your happiness and that is never good for the parents and definitely not for the kids.
August 6th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
You said it.
August 11th, 2008 at 4:14 am
It’s a sensitive situation and I agree that kids nowadays are smart and they can see through the charade. I guess the best option is the one that is least harmful to the kids and if divorce is that option, so be it. After all, some people can remain married but have nothing good to say about their partner.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I would rather have the divorce and have the children see that sometimes bad things happen than have the kids grow up in a negatively charged household.