Love on Sunday, Our anniversary
It wasn’t too many years ago that R and I stood in a remote corner of the Japanese Tea Gardens with two witnesses and our young Bub in the arms of his grandparents. We met there on our first date years before.
We recited our vows (See Love Letters Vol 7 & Vol 8) amidst the quiet of the gardens and were pronounced husband and wife by R’s uncle.
The ceremony was very small. It was a second marriage for both of us. And, we’d done the big “to-do” before. Oddly enough, we both felt like wallflowers in those big ceremonies. We both detest crowds and being the center of attention. In an effort to express the difference in our relationship, we chose something that felt like eloping, but was closer to home. We would have eloped altogether, but a newborn son that I was nursing prevented it.
Not many relatives understood that, it turns out.
Our original hopes were that we would have a small, intimate ceremony between the two of us first. So much of our life had been laid out on the table, naked for all to see, despite our wish for privacy in difficult divorces. We wanted something that belonged to the two of us. After his, mine and ours (of a stepfamily) blended a bit more, we hoped for a family ceremony where we could (all of us) pledge our promise to love each other.
BUT, you need witnesses when you’re eloping, if you’re not eloping to Vegas or Reno. So, we invited R’s Uncle and my sister. And, when you invite one and don’t invite the other 100 or so–you’re sure to offend.
All is well in the hearts of most these days. Some still carry it under their hat, but choose to of their own volition. What I choose to remember from the day is that it we honored the day we met with beautiful words in a place as spiritual and as grounded as we are. We made love that day and almost every day since, knowing that the foggy moment we pledged in the gardens did belong to us. It cleansed our souls of the pain we were enduring and the emptiness that haunted us.
We are in love this day and all days…
marriage, second marriage, relationships, Japanese Tea Gardens, elope, divorce, anniversary
December 25th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
You remind me of my trips to Japan and China, though not for marriage (a senior abbot in Kyoto tried to pick me up, and I got whacked for squirming at a Zen temple I’ve long forgotten). I’m sure you were a lovely bride. Still are quite fetching. Do you do phone consults?
December 25th, 2006 at 5:19 pm
Phone consults?…I think that’s a different blog.