Long Relationships

On his last day here at Long Relationships, I decided to interview Dawson Church and get some of my more specific questions about epigenetics, health and relationships answered.

I hope you enjoy the interview.

Could you share with us an easy to understand definition of epigenetic work and what your book, Genie in Your Genes, is about?

Epigenetics is one of the hottest research areas of biology right now. Epi means “above,” so epigenetics (“above the genes”) is the science of turning genes on and off without changing DNA. The Genie in Your Genes (www.GenieBestSeller.com) shows how genes are affected epigenetically by consciousness, in all of its many forms. Love and nurturing are one of the primary epigenetic mechanisms of consciousness; they can produce changes in the molecular structure of DNA via a process called methylation.

What do you think is the biggest contributing factor to the breakup of relationships?

Old habits. Brain research has shown us how durable neural patterns are, and how difficult they can be to change. People tend to live out their childhood behavioral scripts all through their lives, sabotaging their relationships. If we had perfect childhoods, we might create perfect relationships. But most of us were traumatized as children, and carry those scars (and impose them on our partners) for the rest of our lives.

How does what is talked about in your book relate to building healthy relationships?

When we’re laden with childhood traumas, we cannot be present with our partners. You’re not really relating to the current person; instead you’re mesmerized by the behaviors you developed to survive a dysfunctional parent. The book describes the exciting new field of energy psychology, which has a unique, fast, and powerful technology to break those patterns. As a side effect, it provides new new epigenetic stimuli to our cells, improving our health.

In an email you mentioned that you run a class on relationships. Could you tell us about the class?

It’s a brand new class called The Energies of Love. I’ve found that if people use energy psychology to clean up their old emotional traumas, they create fertile ground for growth. The amazing thing is that you don’t need your partner to change; if only one person in the relationship changes, it changes the energy field of the relationship, the way iron filing change if you move two magnets.

I had a friend who had been with his girlfriend for eight years but could never work up the energy to propose to her. A few months after the class, he popped the question. Of course she said yes, though I’m amazed she was patient enough with him to hang around that long!

Is there a particular story of relationship healing that stands out in your mind? If yes, would you mind sharing it with us?

I worked with a man who was contemplating divorcing his wife (he hadn’t told her). I used a form of energy psychology called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). We worked on the feeling he felt in his body when he fought with his wife. The earliest childhood memory he had of that feeling was when he was five years old. He and his brother were fighting in the back seat of the car; his father reached over the front seat and clobbered him hard.

We worked on that and several other childhood memories, after which I asked him again about his wife. He began telling me about all the things he appreciated about her, and about how this relationship is so precious to him he could never contemplate ending it! Note that we did no work whatsoever on his marriage. The lesson here is that when you resolve your childhood traumas, you don’t have to re-enact them with your current partner.

Can epigenetic and energy work improve all relationships – romantic, friendship, family?

It works the same way: You deal with your own emotional triggering, no matter what the source. Rather than changing the people “out there” you change yourself “in here” to the point where you are no longer reactive to what they throw at you. This opens up a space for heart connection.

Does epigenetics offer help for people healing from the abuses of past relationships?

The book quotes large scientific studies showing the link between old unhealed emotional trauma and disease: cancer, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, hepatitis, high blood pressure, and osteoporosis. When you heal the emotional charge of prior abuse, you introduce a new epigenetic signal into your cells. That can have profound healing effects.

Where can readers go for more information?

Get the book, plus a lovely collection of freebies, at www.GenieBestSeller.com. If you want to take a class, I’m teaching in both Europe and the US in the next few months, and you can see those links at www.DawsonChurch.com. A wonderful group of volunteers is offering energy psychology to veterans, and if you know a Vietnam or Iraq veteran, they can get fast free help at www.StressProject.org.

Is there anything else you would like to share?

Emotional pain is optional. You don’t have to suffer for a minute longer than you want to. You can change even long-standing habits fast. When you learn to love yourself, and reduce your stress, you send healing epigenetic signals to your cells. Fill those cells with love and they will love you back. And the love that fills your energy field will attract the most fabulous people to you, effortlessly!