I’m Not Mrs. Edwards
When I found out that John Edwards intended to continue his campaign toward the presidency, I was indignant. “He should stay home and take care of his wife! What if he’s left with two small kids? He can’t be running the country then!� My response was not so much borne of political persuasion but of a knee-jerk reaction of what I’d want my husband to do if I had cancer. Take care of ME. Don’t put the country’s welfare over ME.
But John Edwards is not my husband.
When I take a step back, I can see both sides. On the one hand, since Elizabeth Edwards was such a strong player in his campaign behind the scenes, losing her to treatment and days for rest would most likely hurt the whole operation. She might be tired and less able to contribute, especially with the added burden of comforting their children. I imagine that John depends on her for moral support, but to expect that she could be that support when she is receiving treatment could be unrealistic. He would lose a significant part of his support network. It is not to say that cancer automatically renders its patients sickly invalids, but I would hope that John would not sacrifice his wife’s health for the betterment of his career.
On the other hand, public statements show that Elizabeth strongly devoted to this goal, perhaps as much as her husband, so to take that away could have been seriously disappointing, even in light of her cancer. I also wonder if being the reason he stepped down from the campaign would have resulted in a lot of guilt for Elizabeth alongside the illness. Besides, wouldn’t it be helpful to have something to work toward, rather than simply focusing on being sick? It shows optimism and courage to look to the future rather than accepting a bleak fate. Perhaps persevering in the presidential campaign is part of fighting the cancer; in both activities, John and Elizabeth can be a team.
If I look at both sides next to each other, I’m glad I didn’t have to make this decision. I’m glad that it took time and consideration for John and Elizabeth Edwards to make theirs.
marriage, cancer, decisions, career
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March 30th, 2007 at 3:38 am
I don’t think Elizabeth Edwards’ decision came out of John Edwards being selfish. I think this is her decision. I think she’s doing something that she believes in. This is how she wants to live her life, regardless of how long she has — and lets hope it’s a long time. Something I think most people are over-looking, too, is the example she’s setting for her kids. This is how you face a crisis. You keep going and doing what you believe in. I’m very impressed with the Edwards’ marriage. I don’t say I would be more likely to vote for him, but I admire them as a couple.
March 30th, 2007 at 11:47 am
eshever - I think you have a great point about how this situation can model perseverance to the Edwards’ children. It’s hard to separate the personal from the political here, but it’s a tough situation to bear, regardless.