Long Relationships

Call me a Valentine’s Day Scrooge. Seeing card aisles light up with red and pink makes makes me groan. There are high expectations to be romantic and extravagant. Friends who are single might be particularly grumpy around others who are not. Is it all because of outside pressure? Exactly how important is Valentine’s Day?

At the risk of all things being relative, I would suggest that Valentine’s Day is as important as a person perceives it to be. As such, I imagine that everyone has unique traditions that correspond to that level of importance. For the 14 couples who are married on Valentine’s Day at the Empire State Building every year, I hope the day is marked with romance and renewal. For others, the day may simply bring back memories of past sweethearts, a first valentine, or a particular romantic dinner. Couples might enjoy Valentine’s Day as a free pass to do something special, like go out dancing, or take a weekend away. A crew of girlfriends may spend the evening together for a fun night out.

I feel like advertising helps to promote a mentality that the affection exhibited in a specific 24-hour period is valued more highly than during the rest of the year. Personally, I regard Valentine’s Day as arbitrary, at best, mainly because the date doesn’t correspond with anything significant to JG or me. We approach the day pretty pragmatically and treat it like a random day to do atypically sweet things. In a way, it’s a nice escape from the daily grind, but it doesn’t have a lot of weight. We’ve always had a low budget for gifts and we cook something new or special for dinner on the 14th. When you make your traditions in college, the less extravagant way is usually the road more traveled. We’ve never “upgradedâ€? what we do because we didn’t feel deprived.

Each year, we have a quick discussion about what we both expect for the day. It’s not that we’re not romantic, but we need to understand where the other is coming from. This year, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday and a school night, we’re on the same page that we’ll have a relatively low-key affair and spend time at home together, with dinner out on the following weekend. We’ll exchange small gifts with inside jokes and try really hard to find cards that fit each other. It’s nothing fancy, but it fits us. I don’t necessarily recommend this train of thought for everyone because I am much less sentimental than the typical girl; I think it’s more about knowing your audience.

I understand that elaborate plans make others feel special and appreciated. Putting time and effort into a whole day of fun and romantic activities is a lot of work and I respect that. Ultimately, I’m more interested in everyday affection and sweetness from JG than grand gestures on one specific day. Valentine’s Day is what you make it, but I would rather spread the lovin’ throughout the rest of the year.

Valentine’s Day, romance, couples