While the sites were down, my husband did end up going on a work trip that separated us for nearly five days (he got home in the evening and I had about two hours with him before bed) and everything went well. He had a safe trip back and forth and we both tolerated our first separation quite well.

We had a little hiccup when he got back, but things are settling down and I’m very glad to have him back. He has mentioned that he probably has to go back soon. While I’d love to go with him again this time, I might not be able to. At least I know this time that things will be fine.

It took him actually going away for a while for me to realize that I wasn’t thinking something would actually happen to him. The reason for my upset more came from me having to face my fear of what would happen if something happened to him.

As a pleasant surprise, many people stepped forward to let me know they would be there if something happened, and that felt great knowing how many people care that much about me and my husband.

This weekend we’re planning a special day out to catch up (he had to go straight back to work and has been working late) and relax.

What are your weekend plans?

Anywho, because of what happened, it came to my attention just how many people read here that have no way of getting in touch with me when the site is down. For the majority of you, that’s not a problem. Either you have my email address or you’re just not that upset about not being able to contact me for whatever amount of time. And that’s okay because I’m not always the best correspondent.

However, it would have been very nice to be able to let you know what was going on.

Because of that, I have been ‘inspired’ to tell you about a few of the other places you can find me, should something like this happen again. (Let’s all hope that it doesn’t.)

Twitter

Facebook

I’m at other places to, but these two are the ones I generally check in on every day. If you have any recommendations of other things I should join, let me know. Just keep in mind that I’m usually quite lazy and I’m proud of the fact that I have two social sites that I visit daily.

Feel free to friend me on any of these sites. It would be great, though, if you could let me know that you’re friending me because you saw this post. (“Hi, I’m ___. I read you on ___.) That’s not possible for all the sites, but I will definitely appreciate it if you put it in when you can.

Thank you all. Now it’s time for lunch.

Phew! We are back in action (as you can see). Did you miss me? I missed you!

Group hug!

Too much? Okay. I’ll behave.

I am very glad to be back in action and posting here on site. I apologize for all the down time, but as happens with technology sometimes, we had a bit of a technology burp. Apparently some drives and servers went down at headquarters and things were a bit messy for a while.

Don’t ask me to go into it further because it’s probably, ultimately, quite boring.

Thank you all for your patience (and for coming back after such a long gap). I know that going too long without posting can be a bit of a ‘virtual death’ for any site, so I doubly appreciate all of you who have been checking in with me via email, twitter and other things.

If any of you are interested in alternative ways to contact me (should the sites ever go down again, heaven forbid), leave a comment and I’ll post up some of my information.

I would like to reward everyone who stuck around through all this by holding a contest. I know I just held two big contests, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hold a few more, right?

If you have any ideas for a contest, please let me know. I’ll be taking your suggestions for the next few weeks so we can hopefully get something going soon.

Once again, my apologies, and thank you to everyone for your patience. I’m very glad to be back.

Have a good one!

Being married just over a year and having everything still going very well, I wasn’t sure how I would react to a relationship book. However, I decided to go in with an open mind, and I’m glad I did.

Relationship Magic takes you through the lives of Prince James and Princess Cinda as they work through their issues and try to rebuild their crumbling marriage. While the reader (as I did) may at first feel ‘talked down’ to when having the subject of a deteriorating marriage put into a fairy-tale-esque type story, it makes the story easier to get into and the messages the author wants to get across easier to understand.

I was surprised to find myself so easily drawn into the relationship of the characters and applying it to my own relationship. Some lessons weren’t of interest to me, but I could see current behaviours of mine and childhood traumas that could easily lead to some of the problems James and Cinda were facing.

In the back of the book, there are also sections to help you get started with your own ‘relationship magic’ as well as a section for all the questions posed previously in the book.

I definitely recommend this book whether you ‘need’ relationship help or not. My husband and I don’t, but I still found things in the book that I could apply to my marriage and think about.

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Hello and happy Thursday everyone! (It’s almost Friday. It’s almost Friday…)

Short Sweet Love Poems has provided another interesting prompt into the world of love, relationships and dating. As always, if you decide to participate, leave comments here or leave a link to where you have answered the question.

On to the question!

When you decide to go on a first date with another person, you would naturally have certain expectations of him or her. And if the person fails to meet those expectations, that might well end up as a turn-off and there certainly won’t be a second date to come.

Some people find being late is a huge turn-off. Others can’t stand their dates chatting on the cell phone, leaving them waiting for the conversation to end. Talking about an ex in detail is also a big no-no to many.

So, for Love Q #8, let’s share this: What would turn you off when it comes to the first date?

Is it bad it feels like ages since I’ve gone on my first date? To be honest, I haven’t ever had a first date. There was a kind of one, but not really.

Anyway, enough about me.

As far as annoyances go, the biggest complaint from first dates would be the date who only talks about “me, me, me”. First dates happen because you’re getting to know each other. Both people.

I’d like to add on another one, though. Someone who tries too hard. It’s the first date, not your final exams. Relax, talk to me, have fun, flirt a little… Don’t have a fit if there is something imperfect about the night and definitely don’t try to make me fall desperately in love on the first date. (It isn’t going to happen Casanova.)

What do you think?

As you have all probably well and truly noticed by now, 451press blogs have been having a few… problems lately. The sites take a long time to load sometimes and it’s not always easy to comment.

I want to apologize for all the problems and let you know that you aren’t the only ones having difficulties. It’s not just you, not just your computer. Even we bloggers are having difficulties just posting.

Why is it happening? Well, going by the amount of spam comments I have to clean off my sites every day, I think being attacked by one or more spam monsters is driving our servers down into the dumps a bit. Day in and day out of offers to increase the size of your man parts and show you free cartoon porn would do that do anyone, I think.

Hopefully we’ll have everything sorted out very soon and will be back up and running normally soon.

Always remember that you can feel free to contact me using the ‘contact me’ button under the site description. I’m not sure if anything would be so urgent that you would need to let me know, but hey, I’m always up for a casual chat as well.

Please bear with me as all this stuff is happening. It’s not fun for any of us and we certainly don’t like it when our readers are unhappy.

And, just to occupy your time, here is a link to one of my favourite web comics:

Questionable Content

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This got me thinking about whether or not it’s easier for guys to be ‘real’ than it is for women.

We have all heard countless reports and studies about social pressures for women, how women are treated differently, so on and so forth. But does that mean ‘being yourself’ comes easier for men than it does for women? Do guys have an easier time being comfortable with themselves?

Is it just a guy thing?

I’m inclined to think not. My marriage started out as an internet romance, and I think part of the reason it continued on successfully through the transition from online to physical reality is because my husband and I were always ‘real’ with each other. We didn’t do the ‘masks’ thing and we never tried to be anything that we weren’t.

I also know that, strangely enough, I am more comfortable with myself and who I am than my husband is, despite the fact that he’s more himself more of the time than I am.

What do you think? Do men have just as many masks as women or is it easier for men to be ‘real’ all the time?

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Then I said, “You know what I love about you? You’re real. You’re you. You’re always you to everyone, no matter who it is.”

After pondering that for a bit, he wasn’t quite sure that was a good thing or not, so I went on to explain: “You’re real means that you’re not the kind of person to put on ‘faces’ for other people. You are who you are to everyone. There is no fake you that you show when dealing with certain people.”

After realizing I was trying to compliment him, he still seemed a bit perplexed but happy.

The thing about it was that I wish I could say I am always the true JM no matter who I am talking to. The trouble is that I’m not. I have a phone voice, I act differently around different groups of people, trying to appear tougher or more pleasant or whatever depending on the circumstances.

That’s not to say that behavior – changing a bit depending on who you’re talking to – is always a bad thing, but a lot of the time, it is because you’re not being true.

It’s important in a relationship – in all relationships, really – to just be who you are. It’s much better to be yourself than to have bad times with others when they find out you’re really like this or that.

Are you yourself around everyone? Or do you put on masks for certain people?

I tend to observe relationships – all kinds – and try and decipher what makes them work. I’ve found that the key is having two people committed to each other, and the relationship. One person can’t do all the work, and I’m not talking about doing the dishes or laundry. I’m talking about making and keeping the commitment to one another above all else.

Compromise is huge. Not everybody gets to have their way all the time. One person isn’t always right – just like one person isn’t always wrong. But the fun part about writing is putting the hero and heroine in positions that only their blossoming love can help them overcome. Mutual respect, affection and caring grow step by step and I like to provide conflict that lets them get a little closer to the self-realization that they LOVE the other person more than the huge obstacle keeping them apart.

And writing romance, I have the added benefit of knowing that my hero and heroine will live happily ever after – it’s also challenging, because while the reader expects the happy ever after, they want to be on the edge of their seats, worrying that they might not get it!

Love…*sigh*

If you would like an autographed bookmark, please send me your name via email – traciella@aol.com and we can exchange information! Love’s Magic will be on the shelves June 8th!

Thank you so much,

Traci

Short Sweet Love Poems brings us another love and relationships question to ponder this week. Remember, you can answer here or on your blog. If you answer on your blog, be sure to leave a link here and on the SSLP site so we can all read what you have to say.

Many people believe that love is everything in a relationship. We all marry for love expecting that it will see us through the good and bad times. Love gives rise to passion and can make our lives happier.

Is love alone enough in a relationship?

Ah, this is going to be an interesting one.

While I think it’s incredibly romantic to say that love alone can carry a relationship, I don’t think that’s true. I want to believe it’s truly, very much so, but I simply can’t.

First you face the basic needs. Food, water, shelter, etc. We all know that. Barring the basic necessities, though, I still think a relationship needs more than just love if it wants to survive long term.

There is trust. There are things in common – you need a few of those if you ever want to get along. You need to be able to communicate somehow.

The mix is different in every relationship, but it remains that every relationship needs more than love.