Long Relationships

Until recently, JG and I had almost no friends who were married or even seriously dating. Somehow, all of our close friends were single and all of their friends were married. The fabled post-college wedding boom seemed to hit everyone but us. It wasn’t as though we didn’t enjoy spending time with our single friends, but we were definitely the odd ones out. I felt like we melded into one entity called JGandRA. It was very weird.

On Saturday, though, JG and I spent almost the entire day with a couple that we’ve known for about six months. We’re very similar to them in values and interests and we’re at the point now that a weekend without seeing them is rare. Traveling as a foursome was very convenient: we all fit into one car, had partners for rock climbing, we sat comfortably at a booth for dinner, and took up a reasonably-sized block of seats at a movie. We know each other well enough that we can have comfortable conversation and bounce around ideas. This other couple was a huge part of why I had such a fun weekend.

What is it about “couple friends”? Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler and Monica meet a couple on their honeymoon, only to realize that the phone number they have is fake? Monica and Chandler were so eager to spend time with “Greg” and “Jenny” and then really disappointed when they were actually friends with a deli. For the newlywed Bings, I think having a couple friend was a sign that their new marriage was successful and, of course, that they were ultimately cool people to be around.

Personally, I enjoy having an automatic group for random weekend nights when there are no plans. The couples we know are content to play board games, watch movies, or have a pot luck dinner, and we can all enjoy each other’s company with almost no intrusion on the hosts. I also like knowing that if I go shopping with one of the girls, it’s a pretty good bet that the corresponding husband will come by to play video games or tool around with JG, and that’s very comforting. Having couple friends takes away a little bit of that separation anxiety, unwarranted though it might be.

Now, my single friends didn’t just snag mates and get married all at once; almost all of them are still single and we are still really close. The best times are when a mix of single and attached friends come by; I don’t really worry about there being an even number of people or who will “match” up with whom. Ultimately, I really enjoy being with couples who have the same experiences that JG and I do, but they’re just a portion of who we like to see.

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couples, couple friends, socializing, singles

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