Long Relationships

For many Fridays now, I have been giving you little ‘weekend homework’ assignments so you can do fun, interesting, and bonding things over the weekends. This Friday I am feeling a bit emotionally tired (and physically as well), and I found I had a bit of fun looking over old assignments.

So, this weekend, if you would like some homework or just an idea for what to do this week, I encourage you to take your pick from all the previous weekend homework posts. Do one, do many, or do none at all. As always, it’s your choice.

When all is said and done, I hope you have a fantastic weekend full of love, laughter, and bonding.

Catch Up on Old Memories and Have a Chat
Write a Love Letter
Take Time to Focus on Each Other
Meditate Together
Safeguard Yourself
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Act Like Today is Your Last Day on Earth
Take a Break (No particular assignment)
Make a New Year’s List
Have Some Fun!
Make Some Time for Cuddle Time
Pamper Yourself
Take Part in a Tag
Think About what You Say
Think About Rearranging Your Bedroom
Have a Proper Weekend for Once

Personally, I think I am going to combine a couple and have a full weekend. The husband and I will get away for a shopping/wandering day that he suggested last night for Saturday. And on Sunday I plan to pamper myself a bit and maybe do some rearranging of the bedroom.

That sounds good to me, that’s for sure.

What are your plans for the weekend? (Randi, if you read this, behave yourself but have fun. Hehe!)

As I sit back for a moment after a morning of emails and other work and work-related activities, I pout a little because I know I shouldn’t be working on the weekend. I can’t help myself sometimes, though, and then end up wondering why I’m grumpy when Monday comes around.

Who wouldn’t, having not had a proper weekend?

This weekend, I want you to remind yourself of what a proper weekend is. There was a reason we looked forward to weekends so much as children. We should have that same enthusiasm now.

We spend so much time trying to get through the day, through the month, through the hard times, through the tight money times… When do we spend time enjoying time instead of trying to ‘get through’ it contstantly.

This weekend, for as long as you can manage it, leave the phone off the hook. Take the kids to a babysitter or family member. Put comfortable clothes on. Oh, and remember to stretch because stretching can feel fantastic.

Then? Then you sleep. Or watch silly daytime television, have a bowl of ice cream (or whatever your favourite treat is), paint your nails, take a bubble bath, or do whatever else it is you would always like to do but never seem to have the time for because you’re ‘getting through’ something. Take a mini holiday in your own home because often the people who do the most forget to take care of themselves the most.

Have a lovely weekend. See you on Monday.

Hello and happy Friday everyone!

With the holiday weekend coming up and with many people busy because of it, I thought I would do a bit of digging into past weekend homework assignments to find something useful. And I did…

This week I would like you to do something that also means spending quality time together. This week I’ve been talking about stress and I mentioned couples meditation. Sometime this weekend, I would like you and your significant other to take at least a half hour to meditate together.

Remember, meditation is about looking inwardly and creating an environment that fits your comforts. You can even lie down while you’re doing it.

I realize this assignment could be tough – especially for couples with children. However, you can do this before bed time. (Meaning it’s okay to fall asleep while you’re meditating.) It might be just the thing to help you sleep more peacefully or at least get to sleep easier.

Try it out and let me know how it went. I’m a supporter of meditation and the benefits it can provide, so I’d love to hear if it did good things for you.

If anyone is interested, I have what are called hemi-sync tracks that you can listen to while you are sleeping. There are specific tracks for everything from increasing energy and productivity to encouraging weight loss.

No, they aren’t those “stop smoking while you sleep� things. They can help you relax and get you in the mood for things a little bit. What you decide to do beyond that is your choice. Feel free to use the contact me button if you are interested.

Happy Friday everyone!

Happy Friday indeed, if you’re in Victoria, Australia because next Monday is Labor Day so we get a three day weekend. (No, that doesn’t have anything to do with the weekend homework. It’s more just my personal happiness at getting to be greedy about my hubby.)

Earlier this week – yesterday, in fact – I listed thirteen ways you can make your bedroom a more romantic place. And why not? You sleep there, you have late night conversations with your partner there, you make love there… It should be a calming, relaxing, romantic place, shouldn’t it?

This weekend, I would like you to take a good look at your bedroom. What are the colours in the room? What pictures do you have around? Is it messy? Is it cluttered? Do you work, read, or watch television before bed and have all those things in there?

Take a good look at your bedroom and then decide on at least three things you would like to change in there to make your bedroom a more calming/relaxing/romantic place. Things that won’t cost you anything but time are usually the best things, but if you want to go out and by some new curtains or pillowcases, feel free!

Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. You don’t need a new paint job and bedroom set (though if you want to and can afford it, more power to you) to make an environment more into what you want it to be.

Don’t forget – have a lovely weekend.

Hello and happy Friday all! Fridays are wonderful in the world of the M-F 9 to 5 work force. I’m not a part of that work force, but my husband is. I love the anticipation of Fridays. He comes home and I know I have him all to myself for the whole weekend.

I’m only a little greedy. I promise. Ha!

Fridays are always good for weekend homework as well. The weekend’s assignment is about working on yourself and the way you handle arguments.

Earlier this week I talked about arguing. As I said in that post, there are good ways and bad ways to handle an argument. One bad thing to do is to start all your sentences in an accusing manner by saying, “You… You…�

“You never help. You never listen. You never understand.�

It’s pretty easy to see how this kind of talking from both sides would do nothing but lead to a bigger argument.

It’s one thing to notice a habit, but it’s another thing to change that habit. This weekend, your homework is not only to identify your ‘you’ habits but to start work on changing them.

Sit down and list five things to your partner (“you do this, you also do this�) and then change the ‘you’ statements into ‘I’ statements.

For example: “You never do the dishes� could be turned into “I feel frustrated because I never have help doing the dishes.�

See? It’s not accusing and it better expresses how you’re feeling about the thing in question.

Try it out a bit more if you like, and try to get your partner to do it as well. It will be good for both of you.

I have been tagged!

The lovely Sandra from Parenting Under the Stars has tagged me with the About You tag.

This is a short meme with five questions. I am going to answer the questions, but I’m not going to tag anyone. What I would like you to do (for your weekend homework!) if you choose to do so is answer this meme either on your own blog (be sure to leave a link!) or in the comments if you don’t have a blog.

I love getting to know my readers, so I hope you participate!

The Questions

* How long have you been blogging?
* What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
* Are You trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
* Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.
* Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE with in the online world.

How long have you been blogging?

I have been non-professionally blogging since about 2004. I came across it by accident, really, and kept on with it, learning how to build templates and so forth.

I have been pro-blogging since about the time I came to Australia - October 2006. So, about a year and four months.

What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?

Nothing inspired me initially. I found blogger and thought it was a nice way to have an anonymous space away from the prying eyes of everyone who knew me. Professional blogging wasn’t really inspired, either. A friend advertised that a network needed bloggers and I applied.

It’s going to sound bad, but I don’t really have any mentors. I’m very much a self-taught person, which may explain a few things haha, and I like to cruise along doing my own thing. I’ve mentored others, but I don’t follow anyone enough to call them mentors.

Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?

I’m in the middle. I make money because I can. I have bills to pay just like the rest of the world. I do love what I do, though. Absolutely and completely.

Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.

People! I love getting to know new people from all around the world. It’s fantastic.

I also love being able to share things with others. I have a big mouth on some subjects, and it’s great to be able to express myself.

Mobility. I can ‘go’ anywhere, find anything, talk to thousands of people… The internet is fantastic.

Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE with in the online world.

Withholding information. I’m usually a very open, honest, emotional person. But I’ve had stalkers in the past, so I have to remind myself to careful with trusting people and talking about myself.

Weight. Haha. It’s not ‘in’ the online world, but I have to go to the gym every morning or else I would be getting terribly little exercise given how much online time I need.

Trolls. People who use the internet to vent their frustrations, torment people, and be general jackasses are no fun to deal with.

There is is! Now, like I said, I’m not going to tag anyone, but I would love it if people responded! Have an awesome weekend.

On a site that is dedicated to couples and long relationships, this bit of weekend homework might come across as odd or even misplaced. However, I do have my reasons…

When you’re in a relationship, it’s more than easy to become wrapped up in the needs, wants, and even moods of your friend/partner/family member. This focus can be so intense that you forget that you have wants and needs as well. You may forget to take care of yourself.

I would be willing to bet that right now, while some people are shaking their heads at the thought of forgetting to take care of themselves, many more are nodding because they know exactly what I’m talking about.

As I said, it’s so easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Yes, it’s healthy to care, but as my husband says, the pendulum has to swing the other way. There has to be balance in your life and a time where you say, “Okay, now it’s my time to focus on me and what I need.�

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. It is to focus on yourself all the time, but it isn’t if you’re often so focused on everyone else that stress becomes part of your daily life.

So your assignment this weekend is to think of yourself and take time away from everything. You may only be able to do that by shutting the bedroom door rather than taking a spa day, but do whatever you can. Focus on you. Spoil yourself. Realize that the world will not end if you take a shopping day, don’t do the chores, and don’t focus all of your attention on other people for a day.

Enjoy yourself.

Global warming. Starvation. Pollution. Illness. Bills. Work. Kids. School. More and more debt. To think, they said computers would reduce the amount of paperwork in the world…

Today’s world is often unkind to the couple and the family. Yes, there are tax breaks and school supplies sales but those things only try to soften the blows, not prevent the problems.

That’s why you, as one half of a couple, need to take an active role in creating and maintaining the long lasting, healthy relationship you want. If you’re not willing to work on your relationship, how can you expect to find anyone else who is willing to work for you?

It’s been shown in many studies (the most popular being Harry Harlow’s rhesus monkeys experiment) that having physical contact is very important for bonding – especially in childhood.

If you’re in a long relationship, you’re no longer a child, but that doesn’t mean physical bonding is any less important. For this weekend’s homework, I would like you to take some time for physical bonding.

No, I don’t mean sex.

Take some time this weekend to cuddle with your partner. On the couch, on the bed, anywhere you like as long as you can hold and caress each other. You can talk, watch television or take a nap if you want.

The important thing about this is to have that physical contact. The physical bonding. Don’t force it, but try to take note of how you feel afterwards. You should have at least a slightly elevated mood.

Hello and welcome to another edition of weekend homework!

The first edition of 2008 has caught me in a very playful mood, so that’s what you’re going to get as an assignment.

As adults, most of us spend entirely too much time taking our lives entirely too seriously. We don’t take the time to enjoy things and remember what makes us happy. It’s usually all about work, appointments, cleaning, and the next five things you do that you only have to do because it’s for the rest of your family.

I’m not saying taking your responsibilities isn’t a good thing or important. However, taking leisure time and having a little fun sometimes is just, if not more, important too!

That’s why this weekend I would like you to let loose a little.

If possible, whisk your partner away to the beach (if you’re in the southern hemisphere or other warm places) or to your favourite café/restaurant. Plan a surprise vacation away in the closest big city.

Can’t afford that and/or think you couldn’t possibly make the time?

Then be sporadic! Turn on music and grab your partner for a dance when s/he’s not expecting it. When s/he passes by, give ‘em a little pat on the toosh. Grab your partner and dip him/her for a passionate kiss when s/he’s doing all the things s/he has to get done.

It doesn’t have to cost anything to have fun and let your partner know s/he is appreciated.

Give a shot, and have a great weekend.

Hello everyone and welcome back to Long Relationships.

Once again we’re back to Friday and that means it’s time for weekend homework.

Last week I didn’t give you an assignment because I felt if you didn’t know how to take this time of year to your advantage in being with the ones you love, then my weekend homework really couldn’t do all that much more to help you.

As we look to 2008 starting next week, we know even more celebrations with (or without) loved ones are on the way.

I was tempted once again to leave it up to you do to as you please and not give a weekend assignment, but then I changed my mind. Feel free to party on and not read the rest of this post if you’re looking to do absolutely nothing in the lovely days leading up to the new year.

Personally, as I near the new year, I have a lot of plans and resolutions I’m going to start on. I also have a lot of vague dreams of better times to come, as many people do when looking at the coming of a new year.

This weekend, I would like you to sit down with a notepad and pen (or with your notepad) and sketch out how you would like the next year to go, especially in the area of your relationship.

Would you like to finally take that vacation? Is 2008 the year you get married? Would you like to strengthen your relationship by taking classes of some sort?

Make a list and also make notes of how to accomplish your goals. Having a set path and something to focus on can help you get through low times in both your personal life and relationship.

Have an awesome weekend.

Hello and happy Friday!

This is a special Friday for those who celebrate Christmas. People here in Melbourne are hitting the pubs by the masses and a lot of people are in good cheer. (Or will be after that next stubby.)

All of you are going to no doubt be busy with parties, presents, last minute shopping, and drinks in some sort of combination whether you actually celebrate Christmas or not.

It’s with this in mind (as well as fond thinking towards my vodka chilling in the fridge and presents still needing to be wrapped) that I declare a break from weekend homework. If you don’t know how to make the most of your time with loved ones during this time of many holidays and much merrymaking, then my weekend assignments certainly can’t help you.

I know you hear this ‘in many times, many ways’ but take this time to take advantage of loving people around you.

Happiest of holidays to you and your loved ones.

Happy Friday!

Hello and welcome to your weekend homework assignment. Every Friday I try to give you a little assignment that should be fun or meaningful to you. Some are more fun than others, some are more serious than others. Either way, I try to make it something for your benefit.

For this weekend, I have something for you to do that you have probably heard of or even done, if not thought about doing before.

Death is not a pleasant thing to think about, thus we don’t think about it when we don’t have to. Whether or not we think we are immortal or just take life for granted varies from person to person, but mostly we don’t think about it until something serious happens.

This weekend I want you to not think about your death so much as think about what you want to say to people. If today was your last day, what would you say to people?

Would you remind people how much you love them? Would you tell your son/daughter that you really thought the graffiti wall in their bedroom was a cool idea but they didn’t ask permission so you had to go through with punishment?

Think about what you would say on your last day and take the chance to say it. I know that’s easier said than done, so if you can’t say the words face to face, try writing letters. Keep journals for each member of your family and write letters to them.

Ah, another Friday, another weekend to look forward to. Well, my weekend is already rather full of work and volunteering that I have to do, but that’s the way it goes.

This week I have been talking about sex, the subject a lot of people probably didn’t expect me to talk about. However, it’s an important issue between couples that can make things very good as well as very bad.

This weekend, your ‘homework assignment’ should be something you find fun. It may take a bit of planning, but it can be fun if you try to do it spontaneously as well.

I would like you to try one thing (or your own variation of one) from the Thursday Thirteen list. It can introduce a little spice into your bedroom relationship, a lot of spice, or, should you choose, it can merely open the door to long and meaningful discussions about what you both want/need out of your sex lives.

Choose whichever option you think sounds like fun or whatever you feel needs to be done. Keep your partner in mind at all times as well, though. You don’t want to scare or overwhelm him/her.

Keep in mind that if your partner is refusing sex, don’t lay blame. Talk about it, use “I” statements, and stay calm. Understand that as hard as it is for you to talk about something or introduce something into the bedroom, it might be just as hard or nerve-wracking for your spouse.

Understanding is the key.

An open mind helps a lot, too.

Good luck and have fun!

Hello and happy Friday everyone. Welcome to weekend homework.

Every Friday I give you a little ‘assignment’ to make either you or a combination of you and someone else feel good. Every weekend I try to make your assignment something fun and/or pleasant.

This week I have been talking about stalking, so your weekend assignment won’t quite be the fun and light hearted assignment it would have been otherwise.

I ask you to take this weekend to help protect yourself and the ones you love by reading yesterday’s Thursday Thirteen (scroll down) and taking some steps to make your online and offline worlds safer.

Check your regular web haunts, emails, and accounts. Get your significant other to check his/hers. If you have kids, have them show you where they like to hang out on the internet and check to see they aren’t making basic mistakes like providing too much information anywhere. Don’t forget to talk to your friends and family about what they can do to be safe online.

It might be time consuming and a bit of a pain (especially getting the kids to give up their favourite places) but it will be worth it if you can make your world safer.

It’s a lot easier to try to prevent someone from entering your life without your permission than it is to get that person to leave. Take the steps now and don’t leave yourself open to regret. Believe me; the regret is hard to deal with.

Have a happy (and safe) weekend.

Happy Friday everyone! Welcome to weekend homework. Every Friday I’ll give you an ‘assignment’ to do that will help either you or you and your significant other.

Last week I asked you to spend some quality time with your significant other doing something fun that was ‘away’ from your normal world and timetable.

This week I would like you to do something that also means spending quality time together. This week I’ve been talking about stress and I mentioned couples meditation. Sometime this weekend, I would like you and your significant other to take at least a half hour to meditate together.

Remember, meditation is about looking inwardly and creating an environment that fits your comforts. You can even lie down while you’re doing it.

I realize this assignment could be tough – especially for couples with children. However, you can do this before bed time. (Meaning it’s okay to fall asleep while you’re meditating.) It might be just the thing to help you sleep more peacefully or at least get to sleep easier.

Try it out and let me know how it went. I’m a supporter of meditation and the benefits it can provide, so I’d love to hear if it did good things for you.

If anyone is interested, I have what are called hemi-sync tracks that you can listen to while you are sleeping. There are specific tracks for everything from increasing energy and productivity to encouraging weight loss.

No, they aren’t those “stop smoking while you sleep� things. They can help you relax and get you in the mood for things a little bit. What you decide to do beyond that is your choice. Feel free to use the contact me button if you are interested.