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Men and Women

The Man Code

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

muscle.jpgMy husband isn’t your ‘typical man’ in a lot of ways, but even he obeys parts of the man code…

Allison at MarriageHacks found this very funny WikiManCode.com and I thought I would pass on some of the funnies. Thanks Allison!

Man Lingo (Mango)
Forbidden

Men are not allowed to say the following expressions:

• You hurt my feelings. (NOTE: This is only acceptable when told to a woman in an attempt to get sex by being the ’sensitive man’.)
• I’m Lost (Can you give me directions?)
• Did you see Brokeback Mountain? (NOTE: This is acceptable when mocking somebody)
• I’ve had enough beer.
• No thanks, I’m vegan.
• Where do you see this relationship going?
• I’m too tired to gamble.
• This (food) is too spicy.
• Do I look fat in this?
• I hate lesbian porn/boobs.

Feelings

Men have feelings too. This being said, Men do not “talk about their feelings.” Men have feelings same as Men have nipples. Both are useless. If you whine like Fallout Boy, be prepared to give milk on command.

Cleaning

Men are required to clean organic particulate matter from areas which may come into contact with human skin in the near future, within their own domiciles. A magazine on the coffee table is not life threatening, even if it remains after the apocalypse. Men don’t dust, nor will they clean the kitchen, unless it is a necessary requirement for sex.

Jobs

All men must aspire to have a manly job, and all men with manly jobs are permitted to look down on those without manly jobs regardless of pay or status. The following jobs are considered manly:

• Assassin
• Astronaut
• Barman
• Builder
• Firefighter
• Gynecologist (BOO YA) (NOTE: This is exempt when you are examining century old flesh quagmires)
• Hunter
• MARINE
• Mechanic
• Mercenary
• Miner
• Women’s Fitness Instructor (say what you will, this guy’s getting nailed)
• Pilot
• Policeman
• Professional Sportsman
• Roadie
• Sailor
• Secret Agent
• SWAT Officer/DEA/etc.
• Any job in the military other than secretaries and nurses (a large bonus to your Mank if your in spec ops)
• Video games tester
• Mammogram doctor (hell yes) (NOTE: This is exempt when you are examining century old cancerous windsocks)
• Roughneck (or any other job in the oilfield)

Posted in Humor, Men and Women | No Comments »

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When you're in it for the long haul, a relationship can be great. What's not to love about having someone with you for fun times and tough times? Even so, commitment has its ups and downs as couples make decisions for the future, get under each other's skin, and grow together. Stay tuned for true stories about dating and marriage, opinions about popular opinions, and thoughts on what it looks like to go the distance.

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