Love Me to Love You?
Monday, May 12th, 2008
Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “You can’t expect anyone to love you until you love yourself.” There are different variations on exactly how it’s said, but basically, the bottom line came down to needing to love yourself before you can have a true loving relationship with someone else.
When I met my husband, that phrase haunted me. Neither of us had particularly great self-images and we were both surprised to have found such great love and caring in each other. Our relationship faced its trials and bumps along the way, but we grew ever stronger.
And yet I didn’t feel particularly loving towards myself. I didn’t hate myself by any means, but I wasn’t about to start spoiling myself either.
In fact, I can honestly say that it’s in large part to our not so great self-images that we were very careful about treating each other well and being sensitive to each other’s feelings. It helped us develop the strong relationship that we enjoy today.
But doesn’t that go against the saying? Shouldn’t we still be hanging out with the other singles, trying to develop some smidgen of self love?
I don’t think so. I think it depends on the people. If you want a relationship with some people, you do need to love yourself and be confident. With other people, there is room for a little insecurity.
What do you think? Is it necessary to love yourself to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone else? Or does loving yourself just make a good thing better?
***This post is part of the 100 Comments Contest. Click on the link for more information on how you can win.***
This is another one of those posts where I reveal just how newly married my husband and I are…
Perhaps you met online. Got married ‘quickly’. Perhaps you both have different religious beliefs. Maybe you’re one half of an interracial relationship. Or maybe, your ages are just a little too far apart for people not to talk about you.
Welcome back to Long Relationships. I hope you enjoyed our guests
49% of Australians are overweight. 64% of Americans are overweight or obese. It’s not a huge surprise that there are plenty of couples out there who have a significant