Long Relationships

My husband isn’t your ‘typical man’ in a lot of ways, but even he obeys parts of the man code…

Allison at MarriageHacks found this very funny WikiManCode.com and I thought I would pass on some of the funnies. Thanks Allison!

Man Lingo (Mango)
Forbidden

Men are not allowed to say the following expressions:

• You hurt my feelings. (NOTE: This is only acceptable when told to a woman in an attempt to get sex by being the ’sensitive man’.)
• I’m Lost (Can you give me directions?)
• Did you see Brokeback Mountain? (NOTE: This is acceptable when mocking somebody)
• I’ve had enough beer.
• No thanks, I’m vegan.
• Where do you see this relationship going?
• I’m too tired to gamble.
• This (food) is too spicy.
• Do I look fat in this?
• I hate lesbian porn/boobs.

Feelings

Men have feelings too. This being said, Men do not “talk about their feelings.” Men have feelings same as Men have nipples. Both are useless. If you whine like Fallout Boy, be prepared to give milk on command.

Cleaning

Men are required to clean organic particulate matter from areas which may come into contact with human skin in the near future, within their own domiciles. A magazine on the coffee table is not life threatening, even if it remains after the apocalypse. Men don’t dust, nor will they clean the kitchen, unless it is a necessary requirement for sex.

Jobs

All men must aspire to have a manly job, and all men with manly jobs are permitted to look down on those without manly jobs regardless of pay or status. The following jobs are considered manly:

• Assassin
• Astronaut
• Barman
• Builder
• Firefighter
• Gynecologist (BOO YA) (NOTE: This is exempt when you are examining century old flesh quagmires)
• Hunter
• MARINE
• Mechanic
• Mercenary
• Miner
• Women’s Fitness Instructor (say what you will, this guy’s getting nailed)
• Pilot
• Policeman
• Professional Sportsman
• Roadie
• Sailor
• Secret Agent
• SWAT Officer/DEA/etc.
• Any job in the military other than secretaries and nurses (a large bonus to your Mank if your in spec ops)
• Video games tester
• Mammogram doctor (hell yes) (NOTE: This is exempt when you are examining century old cancerous windsocks)
• Roughneck (or any other job in the oilfield)

“Women can smell desperation, and that’s not a good stink to have.”

Creature Comforts is a claymation series I have been watching since I came to Australia, and I absolutely love it. What they do is travel around and interview people on various subjects. Then they put claymation to the interviews. I was very happy to find that they had one on a subject I could feature here.

As per usual with Creature Comforts, the subject doesn’t stay with the original and drifts around a bit. But they started out with the subject of animal magnetism and that got me thinking…

What did you notice first about your spouse? Was it ‘animal magnetism’? Or perhaps something that took a bit longer to cultivate?

When I met my husband, the first thing I noticed was his sense of humor. We met online, so I didn’t have the usual ‘his eyes’ or ‘his voice’ to notice. Right from the beginning, though, he has always had an awesome sense of humor.

When I met my husband physically for the first time, I noticed how tall and handsome (and what great hair!) he is. I was in shock and thought, “He is for me? I get him?” (I had this thing where I believed I would never end up with someone who is attractive.)

What else I would like to know is if those are the things you still love about your significant other today. Or did you notice the eyes first but have come to love the smile even more?

Tell me about your relationships.

Through the ages a lot of people have had things to say about love. Today I’m giving you just a few of the things that people have said.

Feel free to add your own favourite love quotes in the comments.

Happy Thursday Thirteen!

1. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
2. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie
3. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. - Unknown
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
5. I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate — but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza. - Alf Whit
6. One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued. - Benjamin Franklin
7. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
8. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein
9. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown
10. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey
11. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
12. The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M. - Charles Pierce
13. That love at first sight should happen to me, was Life’s most delicious revenge on a self-opinionated fool. - Charles Boyer

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens at Fiction Scribe, Write Anyway, and The Book Stacks

I was half-watching some random show (sometimes I like the television on for the noise) on afternoon television and one guy asked, “How do you know if she’s the one? I mean, the ONE.”

Another man smiled and looked at him. “You know that she is the one when she always smiles when she first sees you. No matter what.”

That made me remember something I heard – I think in the movie The Princess Bride – about love. You know it’s love if, when you kiss for the first time, your (or your lady’s) foot lifts off the ground.

That got me to wondering what other kind of sayings like that are out there. There are so many love spells, poems, potions, enchantments, charms, and other such things out there; surely there had to me more little ‘signs’ out there to let you know you’re really in love.

Did you ever sit picking the petals off a poor flower, hoping no one would catch you, as you said, “He loves me. He loves me not…”?

I’d like you, the readers, to share all the little charms and sayings that you have heard of growing up. You’re not limited to ‘you know you’re in love if’ sayings if you can’t think of any of those. Any little charm, rhyme, ritual, recited poem, ‘sign’, and whatever else you can think of is welcome.

Have fun and don’t feel embarrassed if you used/said anything! We’re safe here.

PS. If I get enough entries, I just might have a little lovely something for the person with the ‘best’ love comment!

What Exactly Is Marriage?

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents” -Eric, six years old

“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.” -Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?

“You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.” -Kelly, nine years old

“My mother says to look for a man who is kind….That’s what I’ll do….I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.” -Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife” -Bert, five years old

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?

“They were at a dance party at a friend’s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down…It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.” -Lottie, nine years old

“My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won’t tell me what kind.” -Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” -Martin, ten years old

“Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.” -Craig, nine years old

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” -Allan, ten years old

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you….If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” -Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

“You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan” -Kirsten, ten years old

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them” -Anita, nine years old

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” -Will, seven years old

Considering this site is here to talk about Long Relationships, I thought you might find this little bit of weekend entertainment amusing. It’s videos like these that make me glad I am out of the dating scene…and make me miss the roller coaster a bit, too. (Not that there aren’t plenty of highs and lows in marriage!)

This is a video from a post on YouTube Digger, and the full title is actually:

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