Long Relationships

Today we have a special guest post from my friend Jenera. She’ll be writing for Long Relationships this week.

Having a relationship with your children is as important as your relationship with your spouse, friends, or family. But it can be the most difficult.

Whether you are a stay at home mom or you work outside of the home, it can be a full time job bonding with your kids. I sometimes worry whether or not I’m doing a good enough job even though I spend just about every second with my son.

He’s two and half now and I’ve been a stay at home mom since he was born. I’ve had some jobs that I can include him in-pilot car driver and some babysitting. I once tried to get a job outside of the home and I just couldn’t leave him.

But just because you spend every day with your child, does not mean that you are building a relationship with him. And vice versa-if you only see your kid once a week, you can still have a strong relationship with him.

I think the biggest hurdle is being invested in what time you do share with your child. Getting right down in the dirt and play with them. Really listen when they talk to you, even if it is just the babbling of babyhood. Including them in the daily things of life and making them feel special.

My husband is a perfect example. He is gone more than he is home, sometimes only being able to home for a few hours before leaving for another week. But I am here to tell you that my son and husband have a bond that I will never have with him and at times I feel they are closer than I am with my son.

The reason? When my husband is home, our son is glued to his side. He includes our boy in everything-fixing the cars, mowing the lawn, eating, cleaning, sleeping, and even bathing. And my son includes my husband in everything-playing, getting dirty, eating snacks, conversations only he understands.

I don’t know that there is a magic recipe for being able to have a relationship with your child. I think I’m doing okay. I believe the way you can tell if you are succeeding is to watch your child when you walk in the room-if their eyes light up and you can feel the love, chances are you have struck magic.

Even if they are just newborns, never pass on the chance to build the relationship with your child that will last a lifetime.