Long Relationships

Jenera is always kind enough to write about the topics I would like to cover on Long Relationships but don’t yet have the personal experience yet to do so. Please welcome her back to the site.

Every one talks about how important bonding with your new baby is. Without bonding, your child could potentially be at risk for failure to thrive-which basically means they aren’t progressing health wise as they should. That emotional bond between a mother and baby is essential. Not just for the baby but for the mother as well.

When I had both my boys, I bonded fairly quickly with them. There was some concern I’d be at risk for post partum depression given my history. My family even joked about if I’d be able to bond and if I’d toss them in the river like those crazy mothers from the news. It hurt me to think that my own family didn’t have enough faith in me.

I shouldn’t have worried. When I first saw my boys, it clicked instantly. They were mine and I was theirs. Sure, there was an adjustment period, especially with my first. I had my rough times when I didn’t even want to be in the same room as them. But I stuck it out. I am by nature not a people person and only show affection with a select few. With my boys, I tell them I love them every day and hug and kiss them whenever I get the chance. Maybe others don’t see it. But my boys know I love them.

What is important to remember is that bonding with a newborn is not like they say in the books. Not usually anyway. I feel any mother will have those moments when they feel disconnected from their baby. No new mother should stress about bonding, it will come naturally. It doesn’t require any tips or tricks. And regardless of what you may hear, breastfeeding mothers do not have an edge to the whole bonding thing.

How do you know you’ve bonded successfully? Easy. When you look into your child’s eyes and you can feel their love for you, you’ve made it. It’s that unconditional love where they only know the best of you and don’t care about the worst. They need you and you need them. Bonds are meant to never be broken and with your new baby, you have a brand new shot and establishing a life long relationship.