Arguing
When you are having an argument, your goal should never be to win; your goal should be to be heard. – Dr. Phil
Why, thank you Dr. Phil. I couldn’t agree with you more.
When I first heard Dr. Phil say that (yes, occasionally I like to indulge in daytime television) I thought it was a perfect quote for this site.
When it comes to relationships, one of the hardest things to deal with can be arguments. Things are said that weren’t meant. Stinging comments are remembered. Emotional scarring happens easily and forgiveness happens only with a lot of work.
But as any relationship guru, therapist, or experienced partner will tell you, arguing is normal. If it never happens, you have to worry.
Even so, there are good ways and bad ways to handle an argument.
While it’s not always easy, try to keep these things in mind when you have a disagreement with your partner.
1. Don’t yell. Yelling is just one more thing that is going to make all parties involved feel threatened and upset. Don’t yell. Especially if there are children in the house.
2. Don’t interrupt. Interrupting is rude, inconsiderate, and will most often just make things a lot worse.
3. Use “I” statements, not “you” statements. “You” statements just make the other person feel attacked and accused.
4. Remember that this is not the end of the world. Remembering this will help take some of the steam out of your anger. Yes, you’re mad now, but you won’t be mad forever. You can work this out.
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