Are You Real?
Last night, the man and I went to bed early to get some cuddle and conversation time, which I always love. After a while of talking about this and that, we were quiet for a bit and I thought.
Then I said, “You know what I love about you? You’re real. You’re you. You’re always you to everyone, no matter who it is.�
After pondering that for a bit, he wasn’t quite sure that was a good thing or not, so I went on to explain: “You’re real means that you’re not the kind of person to put on ‘faces’ for other people. You are who you are to everyone. There is no fake you that you show when dealing with certain people.�
After realizing I was trying to compliment him, he still seemed a bit perplexed but happy.
The thing about it was that I wish I could say I am always the true JM no matter who I am talking to. The trouble is that I’m not. I have a phone voice, I act differently around different groups of people, trying to appear tougher or more pleasant or whatever depending on the circumstances.
That’s not to say that behavior – changing a bit depending on who you’re talking to – is always a bad thing, but a lot of the time, it is because you’re not being true.
It’s important in a relationship – in all relationships, really – to just be who you are. It’s much better to be yourself than to have bad times with others when they find out you’re really like this or that.
Are you yourself around everyone? Or do you put on masks for certain people?
June 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am
(Hopefully this works, I’ve been having a really hard time getting on the site and especially leaving comments.)
I’d say I’m varying degrees of myself around different people, but I’m still myself if that makes sense. Like I wouldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not just to please another person. I might not get as relaxed and as comfortable around certain people, but I’m still myself.
I really believe in just being yourself…because if you change who you are to please another person, you are admitting to yourself that you think their way is more valuable or important.
June 17th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
It took me awhile to get on here as well. I tend to be more quiet with someone who I don’t feel as comfortable with or seems judgmental. Over the years I have loosened up a bit and gained more confidence but I still hold back a little. I don’t think that this is necessarily fake but that could be another person’s perception.
I do have a more formal “phone voice” as you mentioned but my every day language would be too crude for some. When I talk to close family I often revert back to old slang and sometimes bad grammar.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Shannon - Excellent statement there. It is very important to be yourself.