Long Relationships

A few nights ago, my husband and I sat down at the pub and our conversation wandered to the marital problems a friend of mine is/was having with her husband. She had mentioned to me that she was shocked when her husband told her that he feels inferior to her.

I wasn’t shocked at all, given that she’s a very strong, independent woman (and raised by a single mother as well). She’s used to doing things on her own and doing whatever is needed to get things done. She’s used to taking care of herself and others and isn’t used to relying on others.

I went on to tell my husband, and he agreed, that a lot of the conflict between her and her husband was probably stemming from the fact that she wasn’t letting him be ‘the man’. She takes care of the children, feeds them, clothes them, cleans the house, works, and does all sorts of things. When he tries to be assertive and put his foot down, it usually has to correspond to her terms anyway, so it takes away whatever good ego he could gain.

My husband then said, “It’s difficult for men in this day and age. Women and their roles have changed dramatically over the past decades. There are groups, support networks, and even laws that have helped women to change. That’s not a bad thing, but where are all the men’s groups to help them deal with and change along with them? There are none. Or, if there are, guys don’t want to go because we don’t like sharing our feelings.”

What I consider to be the most valuable pieces of advice I have learned when it comes to relationships is this: Let your man open the pickle jar every once in a while.

Basically, let a man truly be a man every once in a while. Let him pull out your chair, open the pickle jar, mow the lawn, do something for you to remind him that he’s male, masculine.

However, I know that there are women out there who would be furious to read such a thing from a modern woman. Heaven forbid the vice versa – let a woman be a woman and not feel guilty for feeling delicate or wanting help fixing something – be uttered.

What do you think? Do you think men and women still need ‘roles’ or do you think we have moved above and beyond that? Has political correctness been taken too far in relationships, too?