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An Enigma and a Mystery

by RA

Nintendo GameCubeWhen JG plays video games, I usually watch with a furrowed brow and ask what are apparently Very Dumb Questions. I just don’t get it. Once I think I have the hang of some concept (like that Waluigi is bad), a new game comes out that inevitably messes with my head. I think I need to accept that I will never fully understand video games, kind of like how JG will never quite get my sixth sense that something is on sale, but that’s another story.

- - -

During Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door:

RA: (pointing) Who’s that big guy?
JG: Oh, that’s Bowser. I have to be him for a little while.
RA: What is he, a dinosaur? With a shell? Or is that armor?
JG: Er, yes.

- - -

JG: Look, it’s your favorite!
RA: Ooh, a cloud-duck!
JG: No, they’re called lakitus.
RA: Why are you beating them up?
JG: They’re bad guys here.
RA: But they help people back onto the track on Rainbow Road
JG: I’m not playing that game right now.
RA: Oh, right…

- - -

During TimeSplitters: Future Perfect:

RA: So, where do you carry all of these guns you pick up?
JG: Uh, I just sling them across my back.
RA: Even the rocket launcher? Aren’t they heavy?
JG: I’m really strong?
RA: Oh. But how does it work if you burst into flame? How is it that you just pop up someplace with your guns intact?
JG: …

- - -

During SSX on Tour (Note: I’ve never gone skiing, ever):

RA: Whoa! Did your guy just take off his skis in midair?
JG: Yup, it’s a monster trick.
RA: Can you even do that?
JG: In the game, you can. Or do you mean in real life?
RA: Well, in real life, aren’t they strapped to your feet…?
JG: Yes, dear. The skis are strapped to your feet in real life. I also couldn’t do six tricks in a row in real life.
RA: I thought this game was supposed to be realistic!

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4 Responses to “An Enigma and a Mystery”

  1. Sijbrich Says:

    I will never understand video games, either. One of the many reasons I love my husband is that he doesn’t have any interest in video games, which is really amazing, considering he is a computer nerd, and all.

  2. RA Says:

    Sijbrich - It really is amazing that your husband isn’t interested in video games! Thankfully, JG is patient with my questions and doesn’t push me to learn how to play them. I’ve tried before and it has never been a positive experience…

  3. BB Says:

    What a great article, it reminds me of the conversations I have sometimes with my girlfriend when she doesn’t understand something. The one thing you have to keep in mind is that games are just like movies in a way. Sometimes, you just have to accept that they truly are absurd and majority of the things that happen in the games can never ever happen in real life. The more you see games as fantasy, the more you’ll succumb to the fantasy and the more you’ll enjoy the game.

    I recommend you start a video. Any video game. If you watch someone play it from wherever they’re playing it, it’s hard to grasp what’s going on. If you start a video game, you are more engulfed in the story and the world itself. Let me know how it goes ;)

  4. RA Says:

    BB - I can understand your parallel with movies, but sometimes video games kind of choose what they’re realistic about, so I don’t know when to suspend my disbelief. And, ah, I’m terrible at video games. Playing them has always been semi-traumatic, like when my college friends made me go on Rainbow Road the very first time I played Mario Kart. Grr. Not that I’m bitter or anything. Anyway, I’m content to sit back and be a peanut gallery, as long as JG is ok with it. :)

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