A Matter of Age - Part Three
While walking down the street or in the shops on any given day with my husband, we can encounter everything from second glances, confused looks and even outright staring. I tend to like to have fun with those people and give my husband a peck on the cheek or pat on his bum, it’s perhaps a sign of my world that I’m starting to notice the looks less and less.
But Alex and Jenny have endured the glances and stares as well, perhaps even more so as an age gap couple of a slightly different kind – a younger man with an older woman. Either way, they both knew exactly what my husband was talking about when he asked them if they received ‘the look’ very much.
We pondered the strangeness of it, given that there are still traditional age gap marriages and that it wasn’t so long ago (in the grand scheme of things) that a ‘healthy’ gap between the two people together was considered the norm. While none of us condone minors being forced into marriages they don’t want, we all agreed that as long as both partners are both legal adults, there shouldn’t be a problem.
And yet, there seems to be for some people. The stereotypical images of the gold-digging trophy wife and the ‘cougar’ going for a young man with more stamina come to mind.
Alex wondered if, perhaps, so many celebrity couples breaching age gaps would help generate more acceptance among the general population for age gap couples.
Sadly, my husband and I didn’t (and don’t) think so. While others attempt to emulate celebrity life, age gap relationships probably won’t come ‘in fashion’. At least not for a while yet.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 am
I read all three of your posts and I wonder why age gap relationships cause such a stir. Love is love and it falls where it will, it doesn’t ask ages before it stirs a heart. I have seen one wonderful age gap relationship and one awful one, that have caught my attention. My mother and father; awful. A ten year age gap and honestly the awful relationship had absolutely nothing to do with age. Many long years ago I knew and ex Russian ballet dancer and her husband, twenty years her junoir. Beautiful relationship, he loved her until she died and I suspect he loved her into eternity.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:40 am
You didn’t say what the age gap is, or I missed it if you did, so it’s hard to comment on it.
But in general, people stare any time there is anything outside of the norm.
I admit to getting an icky feeling when I see an old man with a young girl. It just doesn’t look right and to me the guy looks like a pervert or someone that wants someone he can control and she looks like she has Daddy issues. Love is love is great and all, but when you have a 40 year old man with an 18 year old girl…something just seems off.
But with two mature adults, I say whatever makes people happy. If they can handle the issues that will come up and are willing to face them, that’s all that matters and people should just be happy for them.
One couple I knew with an age gap (12 years) started out really happy for almost 10 years. But as he got older he got way less active and liked staying home, and she was still wanting to go go go, be social and do things and they didn’t make it together.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Eaton - Thank you for your comments. That’s a beautiful story (about the twenty year gap relationship) and it just goes to show that not just one element can determine the success of a relationship.
Shannon - I don’t intend to say what the age gap between my husband and me is. Part of this is for the readers to decide when it matters. Ten years? Twenty? I admit that I could have handled this series better, but I didn’t want to influence people’s discussions one way or another. I figured just taking a piece out of my life and letting that lead into questions would be best.
I hope that makes sense.
You point out an important scenario - for all it may be great in the beginning, the coming changes are something you must be aware of.