A Good Deal
When JG and I got married, we were basically on the same page about how we wanted to handle our money. We’re both thrifty, for the most part, and we decided to combine our bank accounts but have separate credit cards with little argument. JG loves the ins and outs of personal finance, so he was determined that we’d track all of our expenses, save a healthy amount, and contribute to our 401(k) accounts. Unfortunately, buying flattering jeans and cute home accessories didn’t fall on that list.
I pride myself on finding great bargains. It’s the thrill of the hunt and knowing that in the game between me and the corporate conglomerate, I do not give in to their scheme to make me pay $64 for a jean jacket. JG doesn’t quite see it that way.
I came home one day with two sweaters and a new blazer and I tried to explain my excitement. “Originally priced at $40 each, I got both sweaters for $25! And the blazer was $24 down from $50!”
JG just looked at me blankly. “But that’s almost $50. Did you really need those things?”
“Well, I’ve had my eye out for sweaters and I can always use a blazer. They were good deals and I know I can afford it.”
He wasn’t convinced. “We just bought the house, though. We don’t know what we can afford. Just try to cut back a little, okay?”
“Cut back a little”? Cut back from spending $49 on what would have normally cost $130?
After several conversations that sounded pretty much the same, I realized that, although JG and I both had the same goals in the long run, we were not exactly in step on the way there. Was I supposed to justify every personal purchase I made? What constituted needing something, anyway? I understood the value of a budget, but the blanket request to cut back gave me no structure when I felt like I was doing a good job saving already. To make things worse, JG would get an idea to buy something like a grill and it seemed like we had no choice to spend a lot of money. I was annoyed.
Finally, I asked JG, “What if we each got, for lack of a better word, an allowance?”
“I don’t know if we can afford that.”
“What if we check the spreadsheet? Even having $20 every month to spend on whatever I want would feel better than constantly feeling like I’m automatically spending too much.”
So we checked the budget and, sure enough, we could afford “fun money” for both of us. I like to spend mine each month for clothes or things for the house, but JG tends to save and use the money for things like volleyball clinics, lawncare equipment, or electronics. I don’t care about the bigger purchases and he doesn’t mind when I come home with a month’s worth of bargain buys. It’s the best of both worlds.
Now, if only JG actually appreciated the great deals I find…
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couples, personal finance, compromise, communication
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April 27th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
We tried this too, but it fell apart when AHEM one of us didn’t really track the spending.
I guess it was hard to determine the difference between the fun money (eating out lunch, etc) and the necessities (new running shoes because old ones have holes). We couldnt ever get a grip on what counted against the allowance and what didnt!
For us, anything that doesn’t fall into categories like groceries or gas falls into the allowance category, so the sneakers and eating out would, too. I guess we look at the money to cover personal expenses and not things we share, so gifts for family members don’t count. But whatever works, right? - RA