A change of scenery
Years of marriage or a long relationship risk becoming tepid at a certain point. I have always had paranoia about marriage, simplistically believing that stagnation is a symptom of saying vows rather than something else. In truth, I think that marriage really isn’t the thing that changes a relationship. Rather, I think the responsibilities, complications and stresses that come after the “I do’s” contribute to a stale bedroom.
As spouses or live-in partners you bring so much else into the bedroom that it is hard to remember that you’re lovers first. I’ve talked before about not bringing drama or serious conversations into the bedroom. It’s a hard thing to remember when so much of your time is spent in that room. Even as you collapse from the day, change clothes and ready for bed, you’re most likely continuing conversations from earlier in the day or downstairs.
Then, when you finally do crawl into bed intimacy is the farthest thing from your mind. Switching gears to realize your lover is lying next to you is nearly impossible.
What is it about a strange hotel room that brings about a little naughty behavior? Perhaps you try a sexual position that you wouldn’t normally. Perhaps you just feel more into the moment than you would in your bedroom at home. Perhaps it is the cityscape and lights of a place that you never go, an unfamiliarity that allows you to throw off your inhibitions and let loose, remembering the wanton days of your youth…
Merry Christmas, dear readers…I’ll be posting thru the holidays, so check back soon for the remainder of my vows, new poems, and articles on remarriage.
intimacy, long relationships, marriage, significant other, vows, sex
December 23rd, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Though I am not currently in a relationship, this article is a nice reminder that as with all things (relationships, business, etc) there will always be an ebb and flow. That sometimes adding something new to the mix can be quite helpful and healthy. Just like with life, constantly learning can help keep us young, so too can this idea be applied to all aspects of our lives. Best wishes to my wonderful colleague Christina.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt
http://www.artistspassion.com
December 23rd, 2006 at 8:47 pm
Merry Christmas Christina, and Happy New Year to you and yours!
Andrew
December 25th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Thank you both for such beautiful holiday wishes…I’m sure we’ll all be up and about with wonderful posts come the New Year.