Long Relationships

Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “You can’t expect anyone to love you until you love yourself.�? There are different variations on exactly how it’s said, but basically, the bottom line came down to needing to love yourself before you can have a true loving relationship with someone else.

When I met my husband, that phrase haunted me. Neither of us had particularly great self-images and we were both surprised to have found such great love and caring in each other. Our relationship faced its trials and bumps along the way, but we grew ever stronger.

And yet I didn’t feel particularly loving towards myself. I didn’t hate myself by any means, but I wasn’t about to start spoiling myself either.

In fact, I can honestly say that it’s in large part to our not so great self-images that we were very careful about treating each other well and being sensitive to each other’s feelings. It helped us develop the strong relationship that we enjoy today.

But doesn’t that go against the saying? Shouldn’t we still be hanging out with the other singles, trying to develop some smidgen of self love?

I don’t think so. I think it depends on the people. If you want a relationship with some people, you do need to love yourself and be confident. With other people, there is room for a little insecurity.

What do you think? Is it necessary to love yourself to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone else? Or does loving yourself just make a good thing better?

***This post is part of the 100 Comments Contest. Click on the link for more information on how you can win.***

No, we don’t have a winner yet, but let’s just say we’re very close! So keep stopping by and speaking your mind!

Just in case you weren’t aware, I thought I would let everyone know that there is a yummy contest going on here at Long Relationships. I am giving away not one but four yummy blocks of chocolate. I have two milk chocolate blocks and two dark chocolate blocks, so be sure to speak up about what kind of chocolate you like best!

And that’s all you have to do. Comment. Speak your mind. Say anything you like as long as it isn’t spam and you have a chance to win. If you are the right number comment, you could win your very own block of yummy chocolate.

Not only that; if you’re the 100th commenter, then I have a very special Australian prize pack to send you filled with a lot of excellent Australian goodies.

So speak your mind and win! (It’s a lot better than people telling you to be quiet, isn’t it?)

If you weren’t aware, I have a similar contest happening over on Fiction Scribe (and there has already been one winner over there!), so if you want to throw your hat in for a chance to win one of the remaining nine prizes between the two sites, jump in on or start a conversation.

You can win not only chocolate but a fun stationary pack with other goodies or grab another chance at the 100th commenter Aussie prize pack.

Best of luck!

I finished up the last love question and realized that there was already another question up to be answered. So, as a bonus for this week (TGIF!), here is my answer to the second question.

This tag comes courtesy of Short Sweet Love Poems (I had the name wrong in the last post).

When it comes to matters of the heart, often times we are blinded by emotions. We act irrationally and love is also illogical. But love resides in our heart and it is our heart that tells us if we are happy or sad. Comparatively, our head gives us power of reasoning and logic which helps to prevent us from being hurt or betrayed. In life, we do need to be rational but rationality do not bring love and happiness although it protects.

So, for Love Q #2:

When it comes to love, is it better to follow your head or your heart?

Well, that’s a bit of a tough one and has been the subject of many books, movies and poems.

For me, it depends what ‘stage’ you are in. When you are in the rose-tinted glasses stage, it’s better to use your head. The rose tint can cause you to ignore your instincts and do some pretty stupid things. I am absolute no exception to this.

When you have been in a relationship for longer than that, then it’s better to use your heart because you’re more likely to go through tough times when you’re really going to need that heart of yours.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with me?

Be sure to stop by Amidrin and Jo-N to see what they have to say on the matter.

***This post is part of the 100 Comments Contest. Click on the link for more information on how you can win.***

As you know, I’m holding contests both here and on Fiction Scribe because I’m celebrating my first wedding anniversary. It’s more than that, though, because I have been waiting for a reason to hold a big contest on my sites for a while.

I love holding contests and giving things away. I love giving people presents. That’s why on this week’s Thursday Thirteen, I thought I would talk about the…

1. Seeing other people smile.
2. How I feel when I hear/read people say, “Me? But I don’t win anything.�?
3. I just plain love giving things away. I wish I had a million dollars just to spend on presents for other people.
4. Making other people’s lives easier (in the case of giving money/gift certificates).
5. I have a lot of joy and love in my life and I like the feeling of giving back.
6. I like making other people happy.
7. Often, people who deserve it don’t spoil themselves very often. I like being able to give those little luxury things they wouldn’t buy for themselves.
8. Everyone needs a little more chocolate in their lives.
9. You don’t get a lot of things for free these days and a lot of people work too darn hard for what little they do get.
10. Giving is definitely a good conversation starter.
11. Have I mentioned how much I like giving people presents?
12. I like showing people I care.
13. Good karma.

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens at Fiction Scribe, Write Anyway, and The Book Stacks

***This post is part of the Long Relationships 100 Comments Contest. Check out the link to find out how you can win.***

I was recently invited to participate in a relationship meme and, well, I have a hard time resisting memes, tags, etc. So here is a love question from Being Pursued and my answer to it.

Welcome to Love Q #1. For this week, just imagine you are being pursued by someone but you are absolutely not interested in his or her advances. I have come across the different manners that people do to send out the message that they are not interested but lets hear it from you.

So, the question:

If you are being romantically pursued but you are not interested, what would you do to let the person know? For instance, would you be direct and blunt or would you drop hints?

This has actually happened to me more than once, believe it or not.

The first time, I did exactly the wrong thing: I went out with the guy even though I wasn’t really interested. I just couldn’t bear to make him feel bad by saying no and he was a good friend. I thought maybe something might happen. (What can you say? I was a lot younger.)

These days I’m definitely a bit more direct. I’m not as outrageous when I flirt so as to avoid these kind of awkward situations. The easiest way to get out of anything like that is to mention my husband or something related to him so I can eventually bring him up.

If I was single… Eh, I’d go the hints way first, but not for long. I’m too impatient to dance around the issue like that.

What about you? Are you a direct Doris or a bit of a shy hint-dropper?

***This post is part of the 100 Comments Contest. Click on the link for more information on how you can win.***

I know I am posting this a little late, but I think you all will forgive me. (Right? I’m offering y’all chocolate…)

I couldn’t have asked for a better anniversary. I truly couldn’t. The entire day was absolutely wonderful and full of wonderful surprises.

We began the day by exchanging gifts before we got out of bed. Funnily enough, we both had each others presents tucked away in our bedside dressers. We then got out of bed and ready to go because we had a reservation…

I had no idea where we were going and my husband had a lot of fun taking me through the heart of Melbourne so I wouldn’t know where we were going.

It turns out my lovely husband made reservations at the place where we ate breakfast the morning after we were married: Café Sweethearts. We enjoyed a lovely breakfast and he surprised me yet again when they brought out a small cake for us to share.

We were going to go for a walk in the park, but the weather didn’t cooperate so we went home and relaxed for a while. After that it was off to the movies to see The Bucket List (which is good, by the way). After that, we went over to the pub to spend some time with friends and have a celebratory drink.

We topped the night off by going home, getting in our comfortable pajamas, and relaxing the rest of the night away.

I am definitely a happy, content wife.

***This post is part of the 100 Comments Contest. Click on the link for more information on how you can win.***

I love spreading the love, especially when something good is happening in my life. That’s why, to celebrate my first wedding anniversary, I am giving away some sweet prizes (pun fully intended). And it’s easy for you to win!

So, what is the contest… Well, I am holding Long Relationships’ very first 100 comments contest. What does that mean? That means we are going to try to get to 100 comments on this site in one month – from today (May 5th) to June 5th.

Can you do it, dear readers? I think you can. Why? Because a lot of people are willing to do a lot of things (like tell all your friends to stop by and comment) for some free chocolate.

Gasp! Yes, you read right! I am giving away not one, but four blocks (200g) – blocks! – of chocolate. I have two blocks of milk chocolate and two blocks of dark chocolate ready and waiting to bring pleasure into your life.

I also have a very special prize to give to the 100th commenter: a bag of Australia’s delectable honeycomb and chocolate treat – Violet Crumbles. Mmm. Not only that, but also a selection of Australian goodies picked out by yours truly.

And all you have to do is comment…

If you comment on this post, tell me what kind of chocolate you lie – white, milk, or dark – and why. That’s all you have to do. Feel free to say more, but also feel free to talk about just that.

After that, any comment you leave on any posts (starting May 5th and up to June 5th) will be included in the contest. I’ll be keeping track of everything, so you don’t have to worry about anything other than stopping by and having your say.

See? It’s easy! So tell your friends to get their butts over here and comment.

My husband has chosen four random numbers, each in one section of numbers. (One number between 1 and 25, one number between 25 and 50, etc.) If one of your comments lands on one of those numbers, then you will have your very own block of chocolate on its way to you all the way from Australia!

Be sure to check back often because I will announce the winners as they match up with the number comment. Also make sure you always comment with a valid email address.

So spread the word and spread the love people. It’s my anniversary!

Dear Husband,

As we get nearer and nearer to our first wedding anniversary, I keep thinking about all the obstacles and trials we have come through this far. Not many people would believe us if we told the whole truth, but that doesn’t really matter in the end, does it? What matters is that we made it through, we still love each other and we’re still together.

Knowing me, you know I’m having a hard time not giving you tour presents early. I’m always impatient like that, but I trust you and know that you’re infinitely more patient and won’t let me give them to you before Monday.

Even so, here is an early gift for you to find here on this site because I like surprising you every now and then. (No doubt you’d say I surprise you all the time. Hehe.)

I want you do know that even though I tell you I love you a lot, the feelings behind the words never change. Whether I say it once or say it a million times, I love you just the same every time and always will.

I’d given up on finding ‘the one’ until you came along. I never thought that sort of world changing, life changing love was something that could ever happen to me. But we truly rocked each others’ worlds, didn’t we? Unexpected strikes out of the blue.

As our first year as a married couple comes to an end, know that I love you more than ever. You’ll always hold a place in my heart no matter what bad times we have to face and what we go through. I’ll always love you no matter what.

Love always,

Your Wife

As my anniversary draws closer, I can’t help but think about all the things I would like to give my husband. But, like many people in the world today, money isn’t exactly something we have a lot of. I would love to give my man ‘the world’ but reality keeps me from doing everything I want.

Besides, as much as he jokes about being God, I don’t think he’d want the world.

But, just for fun (because I already bought his presents), I thought I would list off…

1. A trip to Venice. He has actually been there and has told me on a number of occasions that we should go there together.
2. A trip to Canada. We have a friend there who we would love to visit!
3. A new car. Our car is nice and all, but I worry about my man and would like to get him in something nice, safe, top of the line… That sort of thing.
4. A house. The man and I want a place of our own so bad. It would be wonderful to stop paying rent and actually own a place.
5. A new mobile phone. Let’s just say I hate his phone more and more every day.
6. A workroom. In our house, of course. His own work space where he could be as noisy and messy as he wants to be.
7. The latest, best model computer
8. An Ipod with as much memory as they come with these days.
9. All the books he doesn’t have by Larry Niven, Graham Hancock, and his other favourite authors.
10. A maid. Admittedly, this one would probably be for our mutual benefit. Ha.
11. A personal masseuse. At least until I learn more and stop sucking at massage.
12. All the latest, best camera equipment. He’s an awesome photographer.
13. Time. As much as he wanted whenever he wanted.

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens at Fiction Scribe, Write Anyway, and The Book Stacks