Long Relationships

Hello everyone, and welcome (back) to Long Relationships!

This week has been a very special one, as the ladies who wrote The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire (pictured on the left), Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford, are taking over my blog this week! Every day this week, one or both of the ladies will be answering a question about their book and about enhancing sexual desire in your relationship.

Whether you’re new to a relationship or have been in one for twenty years, this book can help you put some spark into your sex life as well as help you to nurture the physical side of your relationship. If you would like the chance to win a copy, check out this post.

So, without further ado, I turn this blog over to the lovely ladies for the last day. I hope you’ve enjoyed their time here as much as I have.

On to the last question!

“How can you become a sexual team player?”

Rachel: Sexual teamwork is at the heart of this whole book. And as Judy always says, the three key components of sexual teamwork are Touch, Talk and Time.

That is, couples have got to find creative ways of making time for their sexual relationship (and their relationship as a whole), and they have got to talk openly about sex and about all other facets of their lives together, and last (but certainly not least!) it’s important to engage in sensual and erotic touch as a way of continuously reinforcing both emotional and physical intimacy.

Welcome back to Enhancing Sexual Desire week here at Long Relationships.

This week, the lovely ladies who wrote The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford, are answering a question about enhancing sexual desire each day.

This month the ladies are touring with Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Tours to get the word out about their book. (And it’s an excellent book I’m happy to have a copy of! If you would like a free copy, check out this post.) Whether you are new to a relationship or have been in one for twenty years, this book has something for you!

On to today’s question:

“What can we do this Valentine’s Day to create an intimate rendezvous with our lover?”

Judy: An intimate rendezvous is best when you slow down and shift your focus from doing to being. Valentines Day is all about Being in love. What do you love about your partner. Tell him specifically. What turns you on about your partner, whisper the specifics to him. Not with the intention of making something happen, but rather with an attitude of an open and grateful heart.

What is something you might do together that allows each of you to slow down and relax? If you go to dinner, don’t talk about the day. Don’t talk about the past, don’t talk about the future, the baseball scores, your worries or upsets. Simply be together. Hold hands. Be loving. Walk lovingly. Smile. Be of good cheer. Look directly at you sweetheart. Tell them how happy they have made you. Tell them how much you appreciate what they have done for you, how they’ve made your life easier. Ask them if there is anything you can do to make their life easier. and intimate rendezvous begins with intimate heartfelt talk.

Believe it or not, some of the most intimate rendezvous can happen when you skip the expectations that you have and simply lead with your heart that day. Let go of the expectations around this day and simply love yourself and your partner. Do some thing to show that you do.

Rachel: Oh there are so many things you can do. The first is to set aside some time – some REAL time. If that means hiring a babysitter, then so be it! Then, pay attention to what you both like to do best! Going out to dinner can be great, but staying in can be just as fun, and can often give you more freedom to do exactly what you like. When both of you bring a positive attitude to your Valentine’s Day date (or to any of your date nights) you are more than halfway there. Enthusiasm only leads to more enthusiasm (and excitement!), especially in the bedroom.

Hello and welcome to Enhancing Sexual Desire week on Long Relationships.

Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford have taken over this blog for the week and are answering questions about enhancing sexual desire to matter how long you have been in your relationship.

If you would like the chance to win a copy of the book, check out this post.

“How do we get in touch with our sensuality?”

Judy: Everyone has a sensuous side and to re-ignite those joyful sensations, you have to pay close attention to your body. When you take a shower pay attention to the silky feel of the soap, pay attention to the warmth of the water running down your skin, pay attention to how the wash cloth feels on your face.

When you touch your husband’s check, feel his whiskers brush your face. Buy yourself roses and pay attention to how they smell. Pay attention to your partner’s energy. Tell him how much you like touching his hand, his face. Tell him how good is touch feels. Tell him that his arms around you bring you chills and that you feel like melting.

The more you verbalize to him how excited you are at seeing him walk into the room, the more you sensuous side will come out of the box.

Rachel: There are loads of fun, exciting ways to get back in touch with your sensual side. For instance, taking a hot bath or going for a massage or a mani-pedi, or picking flowers for yourself. Anything that allows you to enjoy and get back in touch with any of your five senses offers you a way to get back in touch with your inner source of joy and playfulness.

Welcome back to Enhancing Sexual Desire week here at Long Relationships.

This week, the lovely ladies who wrote The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford, are answering a question about enhancing sexual desire each day.

This month the ladies are touring with Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Tours to get the word out about their book. (And it’s an excellent book I’m happy to have a copy of! If you would like a free copy, check out this post.) Whether you are new to a relationship or have been in one for twenty years, this book has something for you!

I hope you’ll join me in welcoming them to the site!

Today Rachel answers a question that may seem to have an obvious answer but we all needed to be reminded of every now and then.

“What are a few emotional triggers that will kill sexual drive and what can we do about it?”

Rachel: Well, of course, the biggest culprit is anger – or rather anger that is inappropriately expressed, or expressed at the wrong time or place. Couples fight, and healthy fighting with a mutual goal of resolution can even lead to communication breakthroughs and increased emotional intimacy. But fighting that is cruel or pointless is one of the biggest mood killers there is.

JM says: Absolutely! Anger - especially pointlessly dragged out anger - is a poison for relationships. It’s normal to fight, but make sure your feelings and problems are being taken care of. If you’re going to bed angry more times than not, it’s time to sit down with your partner and figure out your relationship.

Thanks again, Rachel!

Hello everyone, and welcome (back) to Long Relationships!

This week is a very special one, as the ladies who wrote The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire (pictured on the left), Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford, are taking over my blog this week! Every day this week, one or both of the ladies will be answering a question about their book and about enhancing sexual desire in your relationship.

Whether you’re new to a relationship or have been in one for twenty years, this book can help you put some spark into your sex life as well as help you to nurture the physical side of your relationship.

So, without further ado, I turn this blog over to the lovely ladies who wrote this book.

On to today’s question!

“What is the main reason we lost sexual desire and what can we do to put more zing in our labido?”

Rachel: In talking to couples and just living life, we have learned that it’s not so much that couple’s lose their desire. Rather, they get focused on other things and their sex lives seem to fall by the wayside.

That’s why we spend so much time in the book talking about the importance of having couple time, in the bedroom, but also outside of it, that is, time where the two of you can set aside all your other concerns and focus exclusively on one another. So it’s really a question of refocusing and reprioritizing, and remembering that your relationship is meant to be fun, and a source of great joy and replenishment.

Since February is the time for cupids and hearts and all things romantic and sometimes not-so-romantic, what better time than to write a letter to your lover?

On February 1, 2008, Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford, authors of the book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, are embarking on a virtual book tour around the world collecting letters from bloggers who would like to tell their lovers how they really feel about them - the good and the bad - and become a part of their tour!

If you would like to become involved in their contest, this is how it works:

1. Think of the things you would like to say to your lover, but haven’t had the time or the reason, whether it’s to say how much you love them or how they drive you up the wall. Yes, the good and the bad and the funnier or more outrageous the better! Let everything hang out!

2. Do not use names. Name your blog post “Letter to My Lover” and begin your post with “Dear Lover” They’ll have to guess who it’s for!

3. Post your message on your blog between now and February 14th and send us the exact link to thewriterslife(at)yahoo.com. Please put “Letter to my Lover” in your subject line.

4. When we receive your link, we will add it to Rachel and Judy’s tour page!

5. But, that’s not all! Rachel and Judy will pick one of the bloggers who participate a FREE copy of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire! That’s their Valentine’s Day present to you!

6. And not only that, we will promote your blog through our daily promotions using your blog post as part of their virtual book tour, thus bringing you lots of traffic during February!

7. We also ask that you include a jpeg copy of Rachel and Judy’s book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, in your blog post. You can find their book cover here (you are welcome to copy and paste from there).

8. All participants will be listed on Rachel and Judy’s tour page so that everyone can read YOUR letters to your lover!

That’s all there is to it! Hurry before time runs out. Become involved in a nationwide campaign to tell the world what you think about your lover and see how much fun it will be to read the letters of others. Share your letters and become involved in RACHEL AND JUDY’S “LETTER TO MY LOVER” VALENTINE’S DAY CONTEST!

Rachel and Judy’s virtual book tour will be highly publicized including press releases and other promotions and is brought to you by Pump Up Your Book Promotion, an innovative public relations agency specializing in online book promotion. You can visit their website at PumpUpYouBookPromotion.com.

Global warming. Starvation. Pollution. Illness. Bills. Work. Kids. School. More and more debt. To think, they said computers would reduce the amount of paperwork in the world…

Today’s world is often unkind to the couple and the family. Yes, there are tax breaks and school supplies sales but those things only try to soften the blows, not prevent the problems.

That’s why you, as one half of a couple, need to take an active role in creating and maintaining the long lasting, healthy relationship you want. If you’re not willing to work on your relationship, how can you expect to find anyone else who is willing to work for you?

It’s been shown in many studies (the most popular being Harry Harlow’s rhesus monkeys experiment) that having physical contact is very important for bonding – especially in childhood.

If you’re in a long relationship, you’re no longer a child, but that doesn’t mean physical bonding is any less important. For this weekend’s homework, I would like you to take some time for physical bonding.

No, I don’t mean sex.

Take some time this weekend to cuddle with your partner. On the couch, on the bed, anywhere you like as long as you can hold and caress each other. You can talk, watch television or take a nap if you want.

The important thing about this is to have that physical contact. The physical bonding. Don’t force it, but try to take note of how you feel afterwards. You should have at least a slightly elevated mood.