Long Relationships

In Our Story, my aim to to share stories of special love. These are stories of love that are funny, sad, and special if only for the people who share them if not for the multitude of other reasons.

Today I bring you a story from a friend who has become a dear friend in just a few conversations.

I proudly present to you the most beautiful true story I have ever heard. Please read it.

I was sixteen when we first met… and she was much older than I was, in many ways. I was working on the Kings River for a white water rafting company as a guide, taking people on rafting trips and setting up the base camp… it was wonderful work during the summer. I was young, for a guide, and proud of it. In truth though I was much older than my years allowed, and those around me respected my kind manner. I had many friends working alongside me and the work itself was more play than work. It was the best year of my life.

It was a Saturday and the river was in top form. I’d watched her since the moment she stepped out of the tour bus - a beautiful woman, extremely tall, copper curls and a warm but sneaky smile. She captured me right off.

I was surprised and quite glad to find her with my group during the trip down river. I took them on some particularly dodgy rapids, just to see if I could spill her out… akin to punching your crush, I suppose… but she was clinging to the raft and grinning from ear to ear the entire time. When we finally settled back at the camp, we continually caught each other staring, smiling and giggling whenever our eyes met.

Later that night, as the bonfire was winding down and people were returning to their tents, her friend decided to try swimming under the influence. I’m not sure how much she had to drink, but by the time I found out about it, she was already in the middle of the river and doing a poor job of staying afloat.

I never broke stride, diving straight in and swimming out to her as quickly as I could. (more…)

Before I met my husband, I never dreamed that some day I would get married and have a wonderful, stable, supportive home life. And yet, by working with my husband through our problems and facing the world together, we found our way to each other and to our marriage.

Getting through the initial rough times with my husband showed me that with hard word and understanding, I truly can have good things for myself in life.

This month, a friend of a friend is going on virtual tour for her achievement journal, a journal to help you on your way to achieving your dreams. I hope you will help her and help yourself by sharing how you are achieving your dreams on your blog and by checking out this journal.

Join motivational speaker Judi Moreo, author of the self-help and motivational book YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH ACHIEVEMENT JOURNAL, as she virtually tours the blogosphere in January on her second virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotions!

You can visit her website at JudiMoreo.com!

This journal is a tool for your journey to achievement. It has been designed to assist you in achieving your goals. It is a fast, easy, convenient way to record your wants, hopes, goals and dreams, to write down your ideas, and to create the life that you’ve dreamed of.

Don’t wait for the “right” time or “next month” or “in the morning.” Now is the right time to begin. Every twenty-one days you will have the opportunity to reflect on your accomplishments and plan the next step in your journey. This is your journey. It’s ok not to write every day. It’s ok not to fill each page. Its ok to write more than will fit on just one day. If you skip a day, simply pick up where you left off in the next available space. If you date your entries, you will have a way to track your personal time table against the calendar. We all march to a different beat. Every day, week, month and year that you keep your journal becomes easier and more fulfilling.

It will provide you with a record of your strengths and successes as well as an acknowledgement of the characteristics, values, talents, people and things for which you are grateful.

When you finish a project, reach a goal, or stay on your diet just one more day, there are, included in your journal, two pages of peel and stick gold stars to reward yourself immediately for your success.

If you would like to tell us how you achieved your dreams or are working toward your dreams, blog about it, send us the link and we will put it on Judi’s personal tour page PLUS promote your stop in our daily promotions in which we reach thousands of potential visitors!

If you have watched the movie, “The Secret,” then you understand the power of affirmative thinking = affirmative action. Are you taking those steps in the right direction to enjoy life at its fullest – whether it’s through financial success, relationship bliss or perfect health?

On January 1, 2008, Judi Moreo, author of You Are More Than Enough Achievement Journal (Stephens Press, Dec. ‘07), will embark on a virtual book tour throughout the blogosphere, but it will involve YOU. She wants YOU to be the star in a campaign to let the world know how you are taking those steps in realizing your dreams.

If you would like to become involved in her ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR ’08, here is how it works:

1. Repeat this passage from her book: “Every step I take brings me closer to the realization of my dreams” until you understand its powerful message.

2. Think about what steps you are taking to achieve your dreams and write about it. Your entry can be as long or as short as you’d like.

3. Post your message on your blog and give us the link so that we can post it on Judi’s tour page. The email address to send your entry is thewriterslife(at)yahoo.com.

4. When we receive your link, we will put it on our daily rounds of promotions, thus bringing you instant traffic, so get those links to us soon!

5. We only ask that you include the passage above before your blog post so that people will understand what you are doing.

6. We also ask that you include a jpeg copy of Judi’s book, You Are More Than Enough Achievement Journal, in your blog post. You can find her book cover here and link it to here.

7. All participants will be listed here so that everyone can find out how YOU achieve your dreams!

That’s all there is to it! Hurry before time runs out. Become involved in a nationwide campaign to bring in 2008 with a bang and help others realize that dreams are not something that happens; dreams are something that YOU make happen. Let’s make 2008 the year when you realize your dreams and make them happen. Share your stories and become involved in Judi Moreo’s “Achieving Your Dreams Virtual Book Tour ‘08″ where YOU are the star! Judi’s virtual book tour will be highly publicized including press releases and other promotions. Let us know what steps you are taking to achieve success and be read by thousands of Internet users!

Click here to find out how you can win FREE incentives by buying Judi’s book anywhere online!

Click here to find out how you can receive a FREE bracelet from Judi just by buying her book at her website at JudiMoreo.com!

Judi’s virtual book tour is brought to you by Pump Up Your Book Promotion Virtual Book Tours. If you are an author and you would like us to set up a virtual book tour for you, click here for more information!

I’m hosting part of a progressive dinner blog carnival on Fiction Scribe!

Have you ever been to a progressive dinner? You start out at one house or restaurant to have hors d’oeuvres and cocktails, then move on to a different one for appetizers, and continue moving from place to place all the way through dessert.

That’s the idea behind the new Progressive Dinner Blog Carnival…

Soup To Nuts is ONE BLOG CARNIVAL presented in five “courses”, each with a different host.

Entries are being accepted NOW.
Dinner will be served on Wednesday, January 30th.

{You can submit one post, per blog, on any subject - please do not use any post more than once}

You can participate in 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 courses

The Hors d’oeuvres & Cocktails course…
will be served at Fear and Loathing - The Gonzo Papers.
Email your entry for the hors d’oeuvres & cocktails course
to me {subject line Progressive Dinner} at: kilroy60@gmail.com

The Appetizer course…
will be served at Change Therapy.
Email your entry for the appetizer course
to Isabella {subject line - Progressive Dinner} at: moritherapy@shaw.ca

The First Course…
has not been assigned to a host yet.
Email your entry for the first course
to me {subject line - First Course} at: kilroy60@gmail.com

The Main Course…
will be served at Anja Merret - Chatting To My Generation.
Email your entry for the main course
to Anja {subject line - Progressive Dinner} at: anja@hqlondon.net

The Dessert Course…
will be served at Fiction Scribe.
Email your entry for the dessert course
to JM {subject line - Progressive Dinner} at: sylver1@tpg.com.au

Your entry should include…

—(-)-> Your name as you want it to appear
—(-)-> The name(s) of your blog(s)
—(-)-> The corresponding URL(s)
—(-)-> The title of your post(s)
—(-)-> The corresponding URL(s)

The Rules are simple…

1. Only English language posts will be accepted.
2. No posts with titles that include profanity or pictures of a sexual nature.

This is a one-of-a-kind blog carnival. The hosts would appreciate your help to promote the event. Let us know if you publish a post promoting the progressive dinner, your effort will be recognized. To make things as easy as possible for all involved, I ask the post more or less follow the structure of this one.

Hello everyone!

My spam filter has been eating all comments lately, so if you make a comment and it doesn’t show up, please let me know. (You can use the ‘contact me’ button on the right under the site description.)

I’ll try to keep a close eye on the spam trap until this sorts out, but I would greatly appreciate your help in this.

Thanks!

JM

Hello everyone and welcome back to Long Relationships.

Once again we’re back to Friday and that means it’s time for weekend homework.

Last week I didn’t give you an assignment because I felt if you didn’t know how to take this time of year to your advantage in being with the ones you love, then my weekend homework really couldn’t do all that much more to help you.

As we look to 2008 starting next week, we know even more celebrations with (or without) loved ones are on the way.

I was tempted once again to leave it up to you do to as you please and not give a weekend assignment, but then I changed my mind. Feel free to party on and not read the rest of this post if you’re looking to do absolutely nothing in the lovely days leading up to the new year.

Personally, as I near the new year, I have a lot of plans and resolutions I’m going to start on. I also have a lot of vague dreams of better times to come, as many people do when looking at the coming of a new year.

This weekend, I would like you to sit down with a notepad and pen (or with your notepad) and sketch out how you would like the next year to go, especially in the area of your relationship.

Would you like to finally take that vacation? Is 2008 the year you get married? Would you like to strengthen your relationship by taking classes of some sort?

Make a list and also make notes of how to accomplish your goals. Having a set path and something to focus on can help you get through low times in both your personal life and relationship.

Have an awesome weekend.

Hello everyone! Welcome to this week’s Thursday Thirteen.

I’ll admit it - this week I’m going for an easy list because I’m just back into working and have been working since I woke up. I’m a bit tired from working non-stop and I honestly can’t think of another list idea. Forgive me if it’s boring!

Bolded are the things I received from my hubby and regular font are the things I gave to him.

1. Pens!
2. The Eagles new CD
3. Highlighters
4. A new embroidered pillow
5. The Fantasy Writer’s Reference Guide
6. Fleet of Worlds by Larry Niven
7. An organizer with four drawers that fits on my desk
8. Ringworld’s Children by Larry Niven
9. The Writer’s Guide to Fiction Magazine
10. Chili chocolate
11. A wonderful card
12. A bottle of his favourite scotch
13. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

There were other things, but I’m limited to thirteen.

What did you give/receive for Christmas?

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens at Fiction Scribe, Write Anyway, and The Book Stacks

Hello everyone. I hope you had a lovely holiday.

I had a lovely quiet day with my husband exchanging presents, eating yummy food, and enjoying each other’s company. My husband learned that I really am telling the truth when I say I absolutely love office supplies and am very happy receiving them on special occasions.

This Christmas was neither our first as a couple nor our first together physically. However, this Christmas was our first as a married couple.

Thinking about that, I remembered back to our first Christmas together physically and all the awkwardness caused by it. It was a fun Christmas and exciting because we got to give each other gifts for the first time.

I regard that as my worst gift giving season. I was thankful my husband’s birthday is in January because I felt more comfortable and did a better job of getting him nice things I thought he would like instead of what people were saying I ’should’ get him.

(Let’s just say we ended up both getting each other massagers, which was funny, but there was a sexy nightie present that didn’t quite work out as planned.)

Do you have any ‘our first Christmas’ funny, embarrassing, or sweet stories?

You can email me all your first Christmas together stories (be it this past Christmas or many Christmases ago) and I’ll post them up here on site. Share the good, bad, and ugly and whatever else you care to share.

If you have just a little snippet to share, post a comment and let us know!

Merry Christmas Long Relationship readers!

I want to wish each and every one of you a very merry Christmas. May you achieve all you dream of, value the time you have with loved ones, and get all kinds of wonderful presents this year.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, you have my good wishes to follow you in to the new year. I hope the best of everything for you as well and a life filled with happiness in love.

Christmas has come so fast for us, it seems, and yet also at just the right pace. This past year has been so monumental for us, it’s no wonder we greet Christmas and the break that comes with it with eagerness.

Last Christmas was filled with all the awkwardness of not only our first Christmas face to face, but also the awkwardness of my first few months living with you. This year we celebrate having overcome many battles and discovered many things about each other.

This is our first Christmas as a married couple. I still remember our May wedding, especially given that I woke up this Christmas Eve to the same weather we had on our day. Melbourne is a fussy one when it comes to the weather.

We also celebrate this Christmas with joy in my successes as a book reviewer, a writer, and more. We also celebrate your second Christmas with the company you work with.

You have done so much for me over this past year that, as I look at my presents for you, I feel like they are completely inadequate in showing you how much I care for you and love you.

You’re not an easy man to buy for. Haha.

But then I look at our little tree on top of the television and our little gathering of presents for each other, and I know we have such a good thing between us. Presents and Christmas spirit be psshed because we have a good, loving relationship no matter what time of the year.

I love you now more than ever, sweet man. You bring out the best and me and make me feel like I can accomplish great things. For that, I love you utterly and completely, and I want to help make all your dreams come true.

I wish you a very happy Christmas, my love. I’m looking forward to many more.

Love,

me

What Exactly Is Marriage?

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents” -Eric, six years old

“When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.’ Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.” -Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?

“You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.” -Kelly, nine years old

“My mother says to look for a man who is kind….That’s what I’ll do….I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.” -Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife” -Bert, five years old

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?

“They were at a dance party at a friend’s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down…It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.” -Lottie, nine years old

“My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won’t tell me what kind.” -Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” -Martin, ten years old

“Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.” -Craig, nine years old

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” -Allan, ten years old

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you….If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” -Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

“You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan” -Kirsten, ten years old

“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them” -Anita, nine years old

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” -Will, seven years old

Hello and happy Friday!

This is a special Friday for those who celebrate Christmas. People here in Melbourne are hitting the pubs by the masses and a lot of people are in good cheer. (Or will be after that next stubby.)

All of you are going to no doubt be busy with parties, presents, last minute shopping, and drinks in some sort of combination whether you actually celebrate Christmas or not.

It’s with this in mind (as well as fond thinking towards my vodka chilling in the fridge and presents still needing to be wrapped) that I declare a break from weekend homework. If you don’t know how to make the most of your time with loved ones during this time of many holidays and much merrymaking, then my weekend assignments certainly can’t help you.

I know you hear this ‘in many times, many ways’ but take this time to take advantage of loving people around you.

Happiest of holidays to you and your loved ones.

1. I need someone who is patient.
2. I need someone who is creative.
3. I need someone who can hold a good, intelligent conversation.
4. I need a lot of physical contact. Holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc. Physical contact is important to me.
5. That being said, I need to be in control of the level of physical contact. How fast things progress sort of thing.
6. I need someone who encourages me.
7. I need my independence! Individual activities are a plus.
8. That being said, a few things we do together are very good things as well.
9. I need someone who is comfortable giving and accepting love. This includes saying I love you in public, holding hands, receiving presents, etc.
10. I need someone who can teach me things.
11. I need someone I can teach things to.
12. A good sense of humour is a must. Laughing and laughter has always been a huge part of my life and I want it to continue to be so.
13. I need someone I can be afraid around. I need to be able to show weakness, be afraid, and cry. I don’t want to always have to be the strong one.

As you can see, I’m a very difficult woman. Luckily, I found someone who fits all of the above and more.

Check out my other Thursday Thirteens on Fiction Scribe, The Book Stacks, and Write Anyway

Exes.

Love ‘em, hate ‘em, periodically burn pictures of them… Exes undoubtedly shape who we are and who we date.

One of my first boyfriends taught me I needed a man who at least matched my intelligence. Another taught me that I need control in setting how fast physical things happen – even holding hands or kissing.

That’s right – use them and then throw them away.

Kidding! However, sometimes we do keep more than just memories from our exes. The question is…

Is it wrong to keep ex memorabilia? Old love letters? Mix CDs/tapes? Stuffed animals?

This can be a tough question depending on the ex-relationship as well as the object in question. Because of this, there aren’t really any hard rules for what’s okay/not okay to keep. If you’re wondering, though, there are a few common sense things that will help you figure out if it’s okay to keep it or chuck it.

Think about the relationship. Was it the relationship before your current one? Time is a big factor. If you have a locket from your crush when you were five, that’s not a big deal. If you’ve broken up with someone three months ago and still have his/her underthings in your laundry, that could be a problem.

Also think about how serious the relationship was. A fun three week relationship is a lot different than engaged to be married. Don’t even think about trying to play down how deep the relationship was either. Be honest and think about things.

Think about the object. My husband has a pen that has ‘Love, Antoinette’ engraved on it. I don’t think a pen is a big deal because it’s useful. (Plus, he never actually went out with the women.)

My husband also had all his old love letters. Maybe it’s because I’m a Leo or because I feel possessive of my husband, but I didn’t like the love letters. If he wanted to keep them, I was fully willing to talk about it and keep the letters. He knew I didn’t like them, though, and was willing to give them up.

Flexibility is key, but if you’re keeping a naughty video of your first time with your ex, you should probably think about getting rid of it.

And most importantly:

Think about your partner. Your partner’s comfort (in compromising with you, too) is very important to you. Maybe you think old love letters are fun to read back over, but this could translate as you still having ‘a little something’ for the person who wrote the letter to your partner. Be sure things are okay with your partner.

Ah, the ex. You may have never met him or her, or you may see him or her every other weekend when the kids get dropped off. Know him/her/them or not, your partner’s ex(s) are a part of your partner just like his/her memories of childhood or that one Christmas when Uncle Jim did his ’sexy’ dance.

Having a partner with some experience out in the field, so to say, is a good thing. It sounds like a bad thing, but our past relationships help us to determine not only what works for us in our significant other but we learn what our behavior in a relationship should be like.

Not all of us learn these lessons (or there would be a lot more healthy relationships out there), but if you decide to take previous relationships as lessons it can help contribute to healthier relationships in the future.

I hate what some of my ex-boyfriends did to me, but I learned a lot from them in terms of what I need from a man physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s all a part of the learning experience, no matter how good or bad the relationships were.

Even if you happen to hate the fact that your partner’s ex may have been taller/prettier/smarter/better paid/etc than you.

This week I’ll be talking about things like keeping your ex’s stuff, when being compared to your partner’s exes crosses the line, and how to treat your partner’s ex. There’s much more beyond that, so be sure to stop back.

I’m a lucky woman in many ways. One way, though, is because my husband proposed twice.

We met online, but it was still very love-filled from the beginning. We flirted, we laughed, and we spent many hours every day talking to each other. It was pretty much understood from early on that, though it would take a while, we would both save up so we could meet and eventually try living together.

My hubby wanted things to be special when he proposed, so he didn’t propose online because it just wasn’t the same. I understood he wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry him as well. I wanted a proposal, but I also wanted it to be special.

(more…)